Ever seen the 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became an Evil Overlord? I'm going to start one for the criminal element out there, because they need help!!! Lots and lots of mental help and remedial education.
1. Never, ever try to crawl through a doggie door with a big knife to attack your neighbors. They will shoot your stupid ass while you're stuck.
2. Never, ever shoot a potential victim somewhere that's not instantly debilitating. That kind of tends to piss them off, and they will shoot your stupid ass.
3. Never, ever aim a gun at a sleeping woman from a doorway. She will scream loud enough to wake the dead, scare the shit out of you, take potshots at you, and you will be glad to see the police when they show up to arrest your stupid ass.
4. Never, ever try to rob a bank with a plastic toy gun. Someone will retrieve a real gun and shoot your stupid ass.
I think that's it for now. I'll do more of these as more occur.
And you know they will occur. The nation did, after all, re-elect King Putt. That would not have been possible without mouth breathers.
3 hours ago