Did you know that some schools are offering classes in how to adult for their students? It involves things their parents ought to have been teaching them all along, but haven't.
Part of the problem there is that the parents may not have been taught by their parents. There are a lot of different possible reasons for that. It could fuel a whole series of blog posts, finding fault. It won't fix the problem, though.
Point of fact: adulting is hard. It's hard if you have a good idea of what you need to be doing going in. It's even harder if you don't, and fuels all sorts of psychological issues (imposter syndrome, anyone?).
It's almost impossible if there's executive function disorder involved. Mostly because people with executive function disorders do not just "pick things up." They've got to have explicit instruction.
Who has executive function disorders, and what are they?
Executive function disorders are the cornerstone of ADHD. It's a difference in the brain that makes it damn near impossible to figure out what's important, what priority the item should have, or how to even begin a fucking task.
I have not been diagnosed with ADHD. I'm almost certain I have it. Too much has added up to "probably" as I've researched what's going on in my son's brain, and how to help him learn to adult. And I have learned a lot about how my brain works...and how to trick it into adulting when it's screaming and flailing "no...don't wanna" in the corner.
Routines. Routines are vital. Turning things into auto-pilot makes adulting a lot easier, especially for those of us with executive function issues.
Routines are hacks. Except instead of "this one weird hack" being a get-rich-quick thing, it's a make-adulting-possible thing. It's a set of leg braces so that you can walk.
FlyLady says that there are two types of people in the world: those that are born organized* and those that aren't.
Developing routines is a way of imposing organization on disorganized brains so that you can actually function at life.
For a lot of us, adulting is impossible without that hack, without those braces.
I'll do a series of posts discussing how to create the routines around things. How to create your prosthesis system so that you can be a semi-functioning adult.
This post? This is just an answer to "but why do I gotta? It's so boring it's painful."
I know that. Setting the auto-pilot lets your brain do the interesting stuff while your body's doing the boring stuff.
Let me show you how I hacked my own brain. Let me help.