Sunday, January 19, 2014


We just got back from visiting my mother, a little bit ago.  I called to let her know we'd gotten home safely...and she told me that she was about to get her hair blown back by the aunt on whose property she lives.  Turns out, she'd told that aunt's pastor not to worry about fixing the house, right now, that she and my sister are in the process of paring possessions down to be able to move (though, where they're planning to go, I have no clue--they have the world's fattest beagle, and a skittish, abused puppy-mill mommy Scotty dog, as well as a cat).  And she had not told my aunt this, yet.  Needless to say, when the pastor mentioned it, it pissed my aunt off something fierce (my mother has lived there since '88 or so, and my aunt hates change of any type). 

The house is a wreck.  The siding along the west side rotted all the way off, the insulation had molded and had to be ripped out, and a flooding washing machine had destroyed the drywall inside.  The siding on the south side of the house is in the process of rotting off, and if my sister happens to stumble against the window in her room, I have no doubt that the window will literally fall out of the house, and dump my sister two stories down onto the ground. 

It's got one bedroom downstairs, and the attic is half finished, lengthwise--exposing fiberglass insulation to whoever happens to be upstairs.  I think it's around 400 square feet of living space.

And my aunt expects nothing to ever change until both houses fall in on everyone. 

I think my mother and sister need to stop hemorrhaging money out to pay for an aunt who needs to be placed in a home for those unable to take care of themselves, and get their butts moved yesterday.  It would be best for everyone.  Even the aunt who's bringing the drama-llama down to scream at my mother.


  1. Things can get very, very bad when someone has dementia. There are never any winners. It's just a matter of how much of the "blame" will accrue to you when it is apportioned. I wish you luck with it. I've been down that road and it is a hard one.

    1. My aunt doesn't have dementia--she has never liked anything changing since I can remember. Taking care of my grandmother for twenty years while she was taken from us bit by bit by Alzheimers has just made it worse.

      The other aunt I mentioned has PTSD very, very badly from a horribly abusive marriage. On top of a very low IQ, and adult ADD. She also seems to be having trouble with fibro or something similar, and is about to get disability for that. Right now, she can't work, and my family (who are all on fixed incomes) are trying to help her keep a roof over her head, wood in the stove (that she shouldn't be loading with her physical problems), and food in her house that she can actually eat (can't keep two thoughts in her head to be able to follow a recipe, anymore, with the combination of problems).

      I really think my mother and sister aren't really helping anyone, and are actively hurting themselves, but I don't know what I can do about it.


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