"Mama, I need dat!"
I hear that from my imp all the time. Thing is, it's rarely something he needs that he's talking about. Usually, he's talking about one of his toys that I've confiscated for bad behavior, or an outdoor hat that he wants to wear inside, or his gloves (that he also wants to wear inside). Sometimes, he'll tell me "I need somfing eat," or "I need chocolate milk," both of which are legitimate needs, but often it's more a want than a need.
I'm trying to explain the difference, but he's only four, right now. Anything he wants is something he's convinced he needs.
Sadly, it seems that most young adults haven't grown out of that mindset.
I'm considering writing a book: something that delineates the differences between needs and wants, how to tell the difference, and how to learn to prioritize. What do y'all think?
28 minutes ago
It's been done. It's called the Bible. Not too many people read it.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, you're right. And I was thinking more along the lines of writing as a housewife that manages a household, and is in charge of taking the money brought in and budgeting to pay the bills and keep food in the pantry. Do you really *need* arugula or will iceberg lettuce do? And do you need gezpacho or will Campbell's tomato soup with ham and cheese sandwiches do just as well? And how about a pot of lentils and rice with bacon and crushed red pepper flakes? That's as tasty as anything else, and about $0.40 per pot of lentils, which has about four or five servings in it, rather than $4/plate if you fix it yourself.
DeleteNeeds vs. wants, especially where luxuries and gourmet food is concerned, have been confused by kids who never had the difference explained to them by parents who were too busy working to pay attention to how their kids were growing up, or who felt so guilty about giving their seven-year-old a key to let themselves in while Mom and Dad were too busy for them that they buy whatever the kid wanted, as soon as the kid wanted it.
"Anything he wants is something he's convinced he needs." Heck I have problems with myself, and I am at least a few years older than 4.
ReplyDeleteYeah, but unlike a lot of my friends my age, you are aware of the problem. A lot of my friends have no clue that there's a difference.
DeleteMy mama used to say, "As long as ya got what ya need, your wants won't hurt ya."
ReplyDeleteYour mama was right.
DeleteThat's one of the hardest lessons to teach, and you and Low Key are right. We all struggle with that. I correct Boo when he says "I need..." to say "I would like..., please." Probably doesn't make much difference, but it at least gives him manners and changes his perspective a bit. Training children is sometimes like polishing diamonds. You do it a little at a time.
ReplyDeleteI've been doing the same with the imp, but since his language acquisition started so late (and he's such a little perfectionist), it's a slow slog getting him to change mastered verbiage. I think he's starting to get the concepts, but it's very much a work in progress.
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