Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Kind of sad...

The advice in this article and this one is stuff people used to know without having to be told--stuff people watched their parents live

In the first one, "How Women Ruin Romance by Talking Too Much," the author talks about how the advice is the same given to young women entering the dating world in the fifties, and how current feminists are horribly upset by that.  However, as Shaidle said, there is a reason for that: it works.  What's the advice?  "Don't act like a slut (in public).  Listen."  And, most importantly, "Don't talk too much." 

No, she isn't meaning at all, she's meaning criticizing the guy, relating gossip about people he doesn't know (or care about), or keeping the subject on "me! me! me!" all during the evening.

I would say "duh," but there are a lot of women out there who don't know this.  They're miserable, because they want a long term relationship, and have no idea why they can't keep one, or that they're driving prospects out of wanting to get to know them better. 

The other article is about how, when, and why to use spanking kids as a way to discipline them without it tipping over into abuse.  I'd say "duh," but again, with all the experts telling young parents how it damages adults to be spanked as children (without making clear that the studies they're quoting don't differentiate between actual discipline and outright capricious abuse), I'm not surprised that parents don't understand this.  After all, my generation were often given a key to the front door at seven years old, and told to come home after school, hide out in the house, and watch TV until Mom or Dad get home (oh, and there's a sandwich in the fridge for supper.  Remember bedtime is at eight). 

It's sad that these articles needed to be written, but I suppose, on further thought, that it isn't very surprising.  Children learn what they live, and most people my age were products of either single-parent homes where the parent had to work, or two parent homes where both worked.  Most people my age raised themselves more than their parents did, and really have no clue how that stuff works.

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