Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Speaking as a woman...

...this is why I hate so many other women.

Pieces like this get written, then guys react like this, and feminist scholars, women who couldn't attract (and keep) a man if her life depended on it, and Democrat women (but I repeat myself) get all butt-hurt and scream "sexist!"

When I was in grad school (back in early '04), I wound up forgetting the lunch I'd packed on the counter at our apartment, about a ten minute walk from my office.  It was winter, in northern Kansas, and cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.  And, because of the cold and damp (18" of snow and ice that kept accumulating because it kept snowing and didn't get out of the tweens for highs for a fraggin' month), an old sports injury had me hobbling around on a cane like an eighty-five year old woman. 

And I knew I had forgotten my lunch.  And I was resigned to going hungry until Odysseus came to pick me up for the day, around 5:30, after my class on how to teach class which didn't teach me anything about teaching--just about the theory of teaching. 

Then, he called me after my class let out, told me to meet him at the door.  I made it up the hall and up the elevator about the same time he ran in the building's back door.  He kissed me, told me to have a great day, and handed me my lunch.

One of my classmates/colleagues was standing nearby.  She'd just gone through a nasty divorce, and her eyes were watering with her mouth hanging open.  "Why can't I find a guy like that?" she asked.

I don't recall what I said, but I remember thinking, "because you have to let them keep their damn balls if you want them to act like a man, you dumb lefty bint." 

Another instance had me heading back to the department, enjoying one of the first days my knee wasn't killing me in six months--no armload of books and papers, just a single folder tucked under my arm.  Another of my female colleagues was juggling a double armload that she was trying to keep tucked between her forearms and her chin, and trying to open a pair of double doors at the same time.  Two sets of them--kind of like an airlock for cold weather.

Two of my male colleagues/classmates were standing nearby, watching and smoking.  Then I waved at one of them--a pretty good friend, at that point--and he nudged the other one.  The two of them dropped their cigarettes and jumped to open both sets of doors.

My female colleague was just inside the second set.  She'd not managed to not lose everything she was carrying, so she was sitting in the middle of a snowstorm of freshman composition papers.  "Why didn't they open the door for me?" she asked, staring pointedly at my single folder.

Since she was also directly in charge of the graduate teaching assistants, I just shrugged helplessly, and didn't say anything.  But, not two days earlier, I'd seen her snap both young men's heads off for doing for her what they'd just done for me.  

Horowitz wrote a screed about angry, immature boy-men, then was shocked that the gender she spent an entire book dissing struck back.  Of course, she brushed it off as just an example of exactly what she was talking about, but I don't think she realizes that a real adult holds a real job (not as a research academic in the sheltered workshops that major research universities have become--much to the detriment of the rest of higher education's reputation), and tend to vote with their wallet. 

Real adults understand that talking smack against half the population might well endear you to some of the other half, but will more than likely offend anyone with a brain in their head and an ounce of maturity.

Horowitz needs to put on her big-girl panties and deal with the fact that it's the fault of academics like her that most of a generation of men have been turned into either metrosexuals with bigger pussies than women, or woman-hating misogynists that would rather pay a woman to go away after he's done with her than get into a relationship. 

My last advice to women who read feminist theory like it's the truth handed down from God on high: Get off the drama-llama before you break its back.  If you can't find a man that meets your unrealistic standards, it's your own damn fault.


  1. WOW there Ms. H, Pretty funny post. I think you are dead on.

    It's a wonder how clueless women are today. Of course, I say this as a C.O.G. (Crotechety Old Guy) that has been with the same woman for 46 years, married for 40 of them.

    I think the other thing that come up here though is that everyone takes themselves so serious today. Women want (deserve) the perfect man - doesn't exits. Men want (deserve) the perfect woman - nope not there. They never have been, it's just that today there are so many "experts" telling everyone that will listen on all the cable channels how screwed up the other sex is.

    What's left out of these discussion is the whole process of simply liking eachother before even thinking of loving the other person. Your friend brought you you lunch because he liked you. You nudged the two young men to help because you liked them enough to mold them a bit.

    Both sexes need enough space to embrace who they are - I have two granddaughters, one a true princess that will eat men alive when she's older, and a little tomboy that I am quite sure will grow into a lineman (can I say that?? :) ) for her school football team. Both are OK, it's who they are - today.

    My daughter married a great guy that can do everything from cast bronze to roast a stuffed pork loin that's to die for. They grew to know eachother through 6 years of friendship and college before marriage ever entered the picture.

    My point here is that once a person - male or female - can like the person, want to get to know the person - then they can build a foundation to actually grow into an intimate relationship with that person, and not before.

    Rambling like an old fart again - nice job. Suspect you'll catch a bit of flack for this one. Sounds like a great topic for a comp paper! :) Enjoy the day Ma'am!

  2. I was in management in my mid 20's.

    My first BIG management job, had me the 'boss' of 80 plus folks--there was only 1 man on the staff besides me.

    Had I not 'learned' respect and how to treat women on an equal basis, I would have failed as a manager.

  3. Bill--you're absolutely right about liking each other before falling in love, or rather, growing to love each other. The relationship will be far stronger. Odysseus and I have been together since the spring of '98, spent three years 200 miles apart while I finished college, spent a year and a half engaged, and have been marred since '04. I literally cannot imagine life without him, and wouldn't want him to be "perfect"--right now he is perfect...for me.

    And, lord, do I hate what radical feminism is doing to the young men around me. They want to be men, and they're being told by all the "adults" around them that that's not a good thing to be. Men take responsibility for themselves and their families--which means taking a leadership role. It means being strong. It means doing what it takes to support and protect themselves and their families. And that's what they're being told is wrong: being assertive and proactive towards life. They're told that they need to be passive, to be quiet, to let the government take care of them and their families. They're told that they need to be in touch with their emotions, and that they need to express them.

    That isn't healthy for males as children, and it turns them into perpetual adolescents. And that is the entire fault of radical feminist experts.

    OCM--I have no problem with equality. I do have a problem with the idea that, to be equal, everybody has to be exactly the same. Women and men are different. I am not the physical equal of any man, but I am the intellectual equal of every man I've ever met.

    And I don't really like men who look and/or act like women, unless they're gay and the female half of the relationship. I don't want to compete in femininity with a man when I'm less traditionally feminine than most women.

    And I do expect, and demand, people use good manners and common courtesy around me. That counts as much as treating me as an equal. If someone wants to hold a door for me (or jump to open one), I smile and thank them, no matter if they're male or female. I won't bite their heads off because I think they're being sexist and implying that I can't do it myself.

    And most of the feminists when you were in your twenties were first wave feminists, not second wave radicals that weren't happy with equality and decided they wouldn't rest until they'd destroyed any differences.

  4. What I don't get is how the feminist screeds aren't shot down for the stereotyping they are.

    I know some men who are wonderful, great men...guys who do things like open doors for people with their arms full (without being prompted!), who are generous and strong and all that good stuff. And I know other men who are jerks. But the fact that I know a few jerks does not affect the fact that the good guys are good guys... you can't judge any group based on a few members.

    And honestly, some of the most unpleasant interpersonal dealings I've had at work have been with other women...now granted, in both cases I think it wasn't a gender thing as much as it was an "I feel inadequate and I'm going to deal with that feeling by being nasty to the people who work with me" thing, but still. Anyone who believes "woman good, man bad" must not spend much time around people.

    It also strikes me that a lot of the really good men I know are ones who came from strong families, where both parents were present and supportive and behaved appropriately, and where they got the chance to do "guy stuff" they liked - like hunting and sports.

  5. Ricki--doncha know that women, as an oppressed class, can't be sexist any more than minorities can be racist (at least in the offending mindset)?

    Yeah...as for that idea...exactly.

    Most of the best guys I know come from two-parent households with a good, strong, traditionally masculine father figure. Most of the wimps, hyper-"masculine" sexist jerks, and creeps come from single-parent households.

  6. I found out quickly in college that young women have no idea how to handle a good old-fashioned gentleman. By the time I was 25, I had decided I would not date anyone under the age of 28. It was just too insane. I absolutely love strong women and discovered it was harder than I thought to find them. I didn't fall into the trap of becoming what seemed to be what every young woman wanted. Luckily, I had to break my own promise and just about fell over myself to grab hold of my wonderful wife. She was an insane 5 years younger than me and strong and sweet and wonderful. She wanted a man that was strong enough to let her be strong. I'm glad I didn't turn into a big, fat jerk (it was touch-and-go there for a while) and was there to snap her up.

  7. How refreshing.

    Thank you for being normal. For a while there, I thought everyone had lost their fucking minds.

    Have you checked out Suz's blog?


    Something tells me you two would get along.

    Let me know if I'm wrong.

  8. 45er--you got real lucky, there. I've met so many men my age and younger that are completely disgusted with middle class American women that they won't give any of them a chance, and miss out on a lot of fairly nice ones. And they get bitter and asshole-ish, too.

    M Sgt B--I lost my fucking mind a long time ago, but not in the same way as everyone I work with. It's the main reason I'm so happy to work from home. I kind of backlashed against modern feminism, and really lunged for the chance of having a more traditional role...and did Odysseus or I mention that we're in our early-mid 30s, and have been in far more traditional roles for the past ten years or so?

    I hadn't found that blog, but will check it out, thanks.

  9. Ohhh, maybe that's what happened. I snagged a young Canadian woman. :)

  10. That may well be what happened--some of them are still more like what you'd find in U.S. flyover country, only without the redneck/white trash attitude as baggage.

  11. I find that a lot of the younger generation of Southern guys (too young for me, alas, and many are my students) seem to be better at avoiding the wussification that America seems to want to visit on men. And yet, they're nice guys: not jerks, they open doors for women, they're respectful of others. (Some of the PC-wussy guys, despite their avowed lack of "bias," can be awfully unpleasant to other people or awfully disrespectful)

    I mean, it's one thing to be a GENTLEMAN. It's totally another to be a doormat. Or a jerk in PC clothing.

  12. Ricki--I have, living across the street from me, three football players in a small house with a very similar floor plan to mine. All three are very good kids: kind, respectful, friendly, and the alpha type that will be the breadwinners.

    They're all from California. And all from intact families with strong fathers and mothers.

    Many of the Southern boys you're talking about are from intact families with strong fathers and mothers, and many with a strong church presence in their lives.

    These things count, no matter what the far left would try to convince us of.


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