Thursday, March 25, 2010

All I ever need to know...

...I learned from reading Robert Heinlein.

  1. Men are more sentimental than women. It blurs their thinking.
  2. Get a shot off fast. This upsets him long enough to let you make your second shot perfect.
  3. It has long been known that one horse can run faster than another--but which one? Differences are crucial.
  4. Nursing does not diminish the beauty of a woman’s breasts; it enhances their charm by making them look lived in and happy.
  5. A generation which ignores history has no past—and no future.
  6. A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits.
  7. Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of--but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards.
  8. If you don’t like yourself, you can’t like other people.
  9. All men are created unequal.
  10. Money is a powerful aphrodisiac. But flowers work almost as well.
  11. The second most preposterous notion is that copulation is inherently sinful.
  12. Dear, don’t bore him with trivia or burden him with your past mistakes. The happiest way to deal with a man is never to tell him anything he does not need to know.
  13. Darling, a true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires.
  14. Everybody lies about sex.
  15. If the universe has any purpose more important than topping the woman you love and making a baby with her hearty help, I’ve never heard of it.
  16. Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.
  17. Whenever women have insisted on absolute equality with men, they have invariably wound up on the dirty end of the stick. What they are and what they can do makes them superior to men, and their proper tactic is to demand special privileges, all the traffic will bear. They should never settle merely for equality. For women, “equality” is a disaster.
  18. Do not handicap your children by making their lives easy.
  19. Rub her feet.
  20. If you are part of a society that votes, then do so. There may be no candidates and no measures you want to vote for...but there are certain to be ones you want to vote against. In case of doubt, vote against. By this rule you will rarely go wrong. If this is too blind for your taste, consult some well-meaning fool (there is always one around) and ask his advice. Then vote the other way. This enables you to be a good citizen (if such is your wish) without spending the enormous amount of time on it that truly intelligent exercise of franchise requires.
  21. Sovereign ingredient for a happy marriage: Pay cash or do without. Interest charges not only eat up a household budget; awareness of debt eats up domestic felicity.
  22. Another ingredient for a happy marriage: Budget the luxuries first!
  23. And still another-- See to it that she has her own desk--then keep your hands off it!
  24. And another--In a family argument, if it turns out you are right--apologize at once!
  25. Secrecy is the beginning of tyranny.
  26. The greatest productive force is human selfishness.
  27. Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors--and miss.
  28. A whore should be judged by the same criteria as other, professionals offering services for pay--such as dentists, lawyers, hairdressers, physicians, plumbers, etc. Is she professionally competent? Does she give good measure? Is she honest with her clients? It is possible that the percentage of honest and competent whores is higher than that of plumbers and much higher than that of lawyers. And enormously higher than that of professors.
  29. Expertise in one field does not carry over into other fields. But experts often think so. The narrower their field of knowledge the more likely they are to think so.
  30. Formal courtesy between husband and wife is even more important than it is between strangers.
  31. Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
  32. Never underestimate the power of human stupidity!

5 comments:

  1. My mind is spinning!

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  2. Too many thoughts to digest at once!

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  3. You might be pleased to know I was planning to take these, one at a time, and write posts about each one.

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  4. One at a time I can handle!

    ReplyDelete