Thursday, November 7, 2013

Gonna be a long day.

We're going to visit my mother, today.  I love my mother to pieces, but it is a trial to deal with her.  She tells me that any toys she gets for my kids are only a loan, and when they're done with them, to bring them back for her other, future grandkids.

She's talking about the children she hopes my sister will have, someday.

My sister is thirty-one.  Lives at home--hides at home.  Doesn't go any closer to where she can find someone to date, much less marry and have children with, than sitting in the car while my crippled mother does the grocery shopping at Wal-Mart.  Barring a miracle that happened only once more than two thousand years ago, my sister will not be having children.

I love my mother.  I truly do.  But the woman is delusional, and it just seems...cruel to shatter some of them.

8 comments:

  1. Deal with her all you can. 4 years ago my mother had a bad stroke and since then lived in 1942. She died on September 24th. It hurt me that for the last 4 years she didn't know who we were. She thought I was my dad and she didn't recognize my wife, but knew she belonged there.

    You never know how much time you have. We knew for a long time that "the call" was going to come, but it's still a shock when it does.

    Hell, hug her once for me too.

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    1. My mother has an aneurysm in her brain. It seems to be stable (i.e., bulging but not blown), but they've warned her it could go anytime. I don't take my time with her for granted, but her delusions about my sister (that she's smarter, that she'll eventually and magically get better, get married, and have babies) get irritating.

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  2. I agree with Robert. My mother died at the age of forty-four. Just hug her and tell her fine, we'll return your gifts. Then, hug her again....

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    1. Hugged her, brought her ice cream (and a four pound roast to go in the freezer), hugged her again, then let her play with Kathryn (since Daniel's turned into outside boy) all afternoon.

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  3. My mom is very demanding when she comes to visit. She is high maintenance. But my brothers have to take care of her most of the time because they live closer to her than I do.

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    1. My mother isn't happy unless she has something to complain about. Her favorite thing is that life is unfair to her in general and in specific.

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  4. I could spend days writing about the trials and tribulations of dealing with my mother. At the end, the determination, opinions, unwanted confrontations and sometimes anger was replaced with an understanding of the things that influenced her life and made her who she was. I was honored with helping her with passing and the bitter sweet memories gave me a perspective that is better than that of the past.

    Give her a hug for me. She has yet to learn who you are, but she will.

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    1. She's also hanging onto her delusions that I am a frilly girly girl, and that I'm softhearted and nice.

      I am none of these things. My daughter is, but I am not. She claims I used to be, but I don't remember it.

      I love her anyway.

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