Our librarian is expecting.

The one that works the circulation desk (hands me my classroom key most mornings).  She had a plate of cookies to share the joy. 

I am incredibly happy for her, and flabbergasted.  I'm pretty sure she's planning to keep working her full time job after the baby comes, and I don't understand how anybody can do it, or why they would. 

She looked kinda green, so I told her about the trick I learned with my two: sour candy eases morning sickness. She was rather enthusiastic in thanking me, so I guess I was timely with that tip.  I only wish I'd had some to hand over to her.

(I also suggested a Sam's Club membership.  200+ diapers in a package for $35 is well worth a $45/year membership.)

I do wish her joy and happiness, pray for a healthy, happy pregnancy, and hope she doesn't over-stretch herself between home, baby, and job. 

Cooler than shit.

Apparently, there is a music school in Holland--called The Metal Factory--that does more than just music.  They also do "entrepreneurship: the management side, booking, merchandising... also history and music theory": something that university music programs here don't do. 

Here, in the U.S., a degree in music is almost worthless, outside of teaching.  The only things my university's program requires are dedication, a willingness to spend almost twice as long as anyone else (and rack up debt so doing), and a butt-ton of instruments and vocals classes, as well as a complete and total lack of stage fright (concerts and recitals are very, very much required).  It doesn't require something students can use to make a living.  It doesn't seem to hold the expectation that the students can make a living with it.

I like that the Dutch school emphasizes the practical with the music, the theory, and the history.

Hey, cool!

Apparently, OldNFO has read The Godshead and Highway...and liked them! 

OldNFO, if you see this, thanks for the reviews, and there's more to come...and maybe drop a comment to let me know if you had a favorite character/story/situation.

Idiots.

This is seriously cool: a fisherman caught a 200 year old fish that was living 900 feet below the ocean's surface. 

What isn't cool is this: "critics are fuming that he didn't snap a few amazing selfies and throw the majestic animal back to enjoy its old age in peace — reminding us that catch and release is the respectful, humane way to go." 

Okay, idiots.  Let's go over a basic fact, here.  The fish was dead from decompression by the time he'd gotten it halfway up.  If he'd thrown it back, it would have washed up on shore, rotten.  Useless.  Wasted. 

That strikes me as disrespectful and inhumane. 

For those of you who may need a bit of help with the heat...

A $20 air conditioner that's easy to assemble, and that works.  It may not cool an entire house, but it should do for bedrooms for better sleep.

Sometimes...

Sometimes, it's not the story that's the best part (though, ten foot tall sheep-eating South American plant?  Awesome!).  It's the comments:

Phil112
June 21, 2013 at 9:30 am

Even plants know vegetarians are wrong.

Heh.  Heh-heh.  Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!

Awesome.

I don't have the words for this. 

Granted, I'm a language nerd...

...but this is seriously cool.

Awww...poor wee lamb!

I bet this really chaps Prince Charles's ass.  Everyone else's mum is abdicating the throne, but not his.  I guess his mum is the only one who completely lacks confidence in her primary heir.

Oh, hell yeah!

These guys--Oklahoma Senator Jim Inhofe and Congressman Frank Lucas--need applause.  Major amounts of applause.  Why?  Because this:

The AMMO Act would restrict agencies from obtaining additional ammunition for a six-month period if current agency stockpiles are higher than its monthly averages prior to the Obama Administration.  

They obviously understand what King Putt and his merry band of thugs has been doing with these purchases.

"President Obama has been adamant about curbing law-abiding Americans’ access and opportunities to exercise their Second Amendment rights," said Inhofe. "One way the Obama Administration is able to do this is by limiting what’s available in the market with federal agencies purchasing unnecessary stockpiles of ammunition."

Although, if Lucas is surprised to hear about the bids and purchases, he obviously hasn't been paying attention to the real world.  It's been all over the news and blogs for months.

Apparently I have the sense of humor of a ten-year-old boy.

Because this had me burying my face in a throw pillow so that I didn't wake the kids up with howls of laughter. 

Are the Mars rovers becoming sentient, with a Marine's mentality?

On the lighter side...

There's enough sad stuff in the news right now--how about some funny stuff?

Kmart's been a bit too clever with their ads for some prudes in this country--enough that people are howling that they went too far with their linguistic joke that relies on people mis-hearing what's actually being said, then laughing about it when they realize how wrong they were.

Here's the video in question:

This is actually a long and venerable tradition in English--deliberately causing people to think the worst of what they heard.  I actually wrote my masters' project in grad school over thousand year old dirty jokes.  One of my favorites was this one:

I've heard of something strange swelling in the corner,
Growing and swelling, lifting up its covering.
The proud-hearted bride grabbed that boneless wonder with her hands,
With her clothing, the daughter of a king covered it.

There are actually two correct answers to that particular riddle, and to about six more out of over a hundred riddles.*   Can anyone guess both answers?

*I've translated them all--if anyone's interested in having me post the rest, let me know.

Oh, fuck yeah!

I really hate the Westboro Baptist freaks.  I love seeing anything that inconveniences them--the stories about bikers and veterans that disrupt their attention-grab-attempts at funerals are personal favorites of mine.

This takes the cake. 

Phelps's spawn* was being interviewed, and a naked, 500 pound man rushed him, knocked him to the floor, and sat on him, yelling "Who's your daddy, now?" 

Better yet, there's video of the humiliation, if you have a strong enough stomach.

I would like to send a huge FUCK YEAH!! out to Billy the Fridge.

*The "church" in question claims that this is a hoax, that there's no one by the name of David Phelps in the "church"; however, I wouldn't believe them if they said the sky was blue, if that happened to make them look bad.

Amen.

This man, a recently deceased veteran of WWII (served at Pearl Harbor, died in 2011), not only nailed it, but knocked it out of the park in a letter to King Putt in 2009. 

At least he passed away before Obamacare came into effect.

Without further ado...

Dear President Obama,

My name is Harold Estes, approaching 95 on December 13 of this year. People meeting me for the first time don't believe my age because I remain wrinkle free and pretty much mentally alert.

I enlisted in the U.S. Navy in 1934 and served proudly before, during and after WW II retiring as a Master Chief Bos'n Mate. Now I live in a "rest home" located on the western end of Pearl Harbor, allowing me to keep alive the memories of 23 years of service to my country.

One of the benefits of my age, perhaps the only one, is to speak my mind, blunt and direct even to the head man.. So here goes.

I am amazed, angry and determined not to see my country die before I do, but you seem hell bent not to grant me that wish.

I can't figure out what country you are the president of. You fly around the world telling our friends & enemies despicable lies like: " We're no longer a Christian nation." "America is arrogant" (Your wife even announced to the world," America is mean- spirited. "Please tell her to try preaching that nonsense to 23 generations of our war dead buried all over the globe who died for no other reason than to free a whole lot of strangers from tyranny and hopelessness.)

I'd say shame on the both of you, but I don't think you like America, nor do I see an ounce of gratefulness in anything you do, for the obvious gifts this country has given you. To be without shame or gratefulness is a dangerous thing for a man sitting in the White House.

After 9/11 you said," America hasn't lived up to her ideals."

Which ones did you mean? Was it the notion of personal liberty that 11,000 farmers and shopkeepers died for to win independence from the British? Or maybe the ideal that no man should be a slave to another man, that 500,000 men died for in the Civil War? I hope you didn't mean the ideal 470,000 fathers, brothers, husbands, and a lot of fellas I knew personally died for in WWII, because we felt real strongly about not letting any nation push us around, because we stand for freedom.

I don't think you mean the ideal that says equality is better than discrimination. You know the one that a whole lot of white people understood when they helped to get you elected.

Take a little advice from a very old geezer, young man.

Shape up and start acting like an American. If you don't, I'll do what I can to see you get shipped out of that fancy rental on Pennsylvania Avenue. You were elected to lead not to bow, apologize and kiss the hands of murderers and corrupt leaders who still treat their people like slaves.

And just who do you think you are telling the American people not to jump to conclusions and condemn that Muslim major who killed 13 of his fellow soldiers and wounded dozens more. You mean you don't want us to do what you did when that white cop used force to subdue that black college professor in Massachusetts , who was putting up a fight? You don't mind offending the police calling them stupid but you don't want us to offend Muslim fanatics by calling them what they are, terrorists.

One more thing. I realize you never served in the military and never had to defend your country with your life, but you're the Commander- in-Chief now, son. Do your job. When your battle-hardened field General asks you for 40,000 more troops to complete the mission, give them to him. But if you're not in this fight to win, then get out. The life of one American soldier is not worth the best political strategy you're thinking of.

You could be our greatest president because you face the greatest challenge ever presented to any president. You're not going to restore American greatness by bringing back our bloated economy. That's not our greatest threat. Losing the heart and soul of who we are as Americans is our big fight now. And I sure as hell don't want to think my president is the enemy in this final battle. 

Sincerely,
Harold B. Estes

If I lived in Arizona...

I would go purchase something--anything--at this gun store.  I really appreciate the moral fortitude that it took to turn down a sale because someone claimed to be making it to prove a political point.

Surprise!

I can understand where this gal was coming from, how she missed being pregnant.  She was told, explicitly, that she would never be able to have children because of a nasty case of necrotizing fasciitis that necessitated abdominal surgery.  Then, along with that, she had irregular cycles, and somehow managed not to really have a weight change. 

I can only imagine going to the hospital for a hernia, and finding out I was carrying a full-term ten-pound baby, and needed to have a C-section immediately.

I can only imagine her joy to find out that the doctors were wrong.  At least, the joy she's going to feel once the shock wears off.  If thirty-six weeks (my longest pregnancy) isn't long enough for it to feel real at first, fifteen hours definitely isn't.

Guns must be removed from the hands of citizens!

They make job safety impossible for some professions! 

Our new pretty...

I am going to have to take this to a friend of ours who has a lot more experience and expertise than Odysseus and I could ever dream of having, before I decide if it will be a carry piece for me, because I fell in love with it the instant I held it.

I think I need to save my pennies for a while...

...and do some research on local manufacturers.  Because if this isn't an excellent idea, I don't know what is. 

Well said!

I love Ricki's response to Obama's whining self-pity about being forced to sit for debate prep. 

All I can add is: Mr. President, grow the fuck up.  You are not setting any kind of an acceptable example for the rest of the nation.