Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Distinction without a difference

I was talking to my mom, recently. She was complaining about her treatment in my home town, and how it's everybody's fault but hers.

(In a lot of ways, it reminded me of the delinquents and hippies doing the "Occupy" thing in various cities.)

In any case, I offered a couple of solutions (she could move, she could shop in about four different nearby towns, she could volunteer to let people get to know her and prove that the rumors she thinks are being passed around are false). She apparently doesn't want to solve the problem, just complain about it. She says she doesn't have the inner strength to do anything about it anymore.

"So, you've just let them beat you," I said.

"No, I quit fighting."

"You surrendered. You lost. You let them beat you."

"No, I just got tired of it and quit fighting."

Frankly, I don't understand the mindset behind that. Life, all of it, is a fight. If you quit struggling to keep going, you've lost. You've lost your momentum, you've lost the ability to do more than survive, you've lost any respect anyone had for you, not to mention any respect you had for yourself.

It isn't any wonder that she's so depressed.

5 comments:

  1. I've dealt with people like that. They'd just rather be miserable than to try to do something - anything - that fixes things.

    I've also dealt with people who choose to be offended and take personally situations that were actually just mistakes, and not meant to offend them.

    I try to limit my exposure to either of those people because they just bring me down too much.

    I'm sorry you have to deal with a family member like that.

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  2. I'm not entirely sure that the treatment Mom thinks she's suffering isn't all in her head. I know it was real at one time, but that was twenty years ago, and my male genetic donor (who admittedly was the base of the problem) hasn't lived in that town for fifteen of those years. I think, with the way my mom has slunk away and hidden, all of that town has forgotten who she is and what she looks like.

    But yeah...the whole "I don't want to do anything to fix things because I want to be miserable" is a family attitude (and one of my aunts is one of the "how can I take this wrong?" types). I think I'm the only one that has worked to change that.

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  3. I would tend to agree...BUT, how to seniors successfully fight all the crap the government throws at US?

    Solve THIS PROBLEM!

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  4. Dude, I have no idea. All I can think of is vote out the creeps that are giving y'all the shaft.

    I do believe that would be all of them.

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  5. The county I live in voted 2-1 against Obama....didn't help!

    H, my only advise to you & O...
    PLAN AHEAD!!

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