Thursday, June 20, 2013

Criminal masterminds...

36.  Never, ever try threatening an intended victim's family.  The victim will turn out to be very much not a victim, pull a gun, and shoot your stupid ass. 

37.  Never, ever try taking a man's wife hostage in a home invasion robbery.  When you put the gun to her head, she will scream, scare you into dropping your gun, and her husband will pick your gun up and put a bullet in your worthless,* stupid ass.

38.  Never, ever break into a house with a smaller house on the back of the property.  There's a good possibility that a family member (say, a daughter of the homeowner) could be living there, and be prompted to investigate the open door at 11:30 pm.  And when you grab her and threaten her, she'd scream, her dad would show up with a gun, and shoot your stupid ass.

I'm kinda seeing a trend, here.  Looks like working at McDonald's is better for your health, even if it is less lucrative. 

*The corpse in this case was actually the victim's husband's cousin.

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