Friday, July 13, 2018

Changing the focus

Recently, I've noted some really, really, really irritating songs.  The two worst offenders are both from Papa Roach, and they are straight-up diametric opposites: "Help" and "Born to Greatness." 

The first one is naval-gazing, whining, and turns having feelings into a need for someone to help him.  Depression.  Yeah, it happens.  It happens to everyone.  It's--get this--being sad.  There are a lot of people out there who are sad.  Not as many have a genuine chemical imbalance in their brain that must be medicated for semi-normal function. 

Don't get me wrong, those people exist.  And those with chronic, clinical depression cannot function without the right medication to trick their brain into providing its own needs, or to provide the chemical needs for the brain that cannot create its own. 

However.  I'd say that the vast majority of people are simply feeling disconnected, and just need family or friends (or a talk-therapist, in a pinch, but family or friends would be better), rather than their electronic device that's creating the distance between them and others. 

The other one...yeah.  That one.  Talking about the generation of twits thinking they're entitled to anything they want, without having to work for it, just because they exist, and Mommy and Daddy think they're the best thing ever since time began.  That they, and ONLY they, can make the world better, nevermind that they're naval-gazing twits that follow already-failed theories and ideologies.  That the people that are in favor of keeping this country a republic aren't being fair, because we're arguing about what's on the menu and refusing to be eaten, while being backed up by force of law and force of arms.

Okay, then.  The most interesting thing about this is that the "Help" generation and the "Greatness" generation are the same

The scary thing is that they could be a massive force if they changed the focus.  For good or ill.  If they'd change from "what's wrong with me" to "how can I get through this to do what I need to do to get what I want," they'd have a lot more power--mostly over themselves. 

I have the distinct impression that a lot of them would look at the controls that the "feelz" types want to put on the "thinking man" and be disgusted. 

I know I was. 

When I was about fourteen, I read Orwell's 1984.  It...resonated.  This was during the period the state was using my mom as an unpaid foster parent from whom I could be removed if she so much as sneezed without permission.  I spiralled into depression, because there was literally nothing I could do--at that point--to change my situation.  I read Dune, and saw parallels between the way people worshipped the main character and the way certain types had replaced God with government, and felt worse. 

I'd seen the trap I was in.  What I didn't see was the exit.

When I was 15, I developed ulcers started having really debilitating panic attacks.  I...detatched.  I dove head-first into reading, and retreated as much as I could from reality, and the ulcers healed and didn't come back.  The panic attacks didn't.  Any time I surfaced, they were there.  So was the feeling of being trapped and overwhelmed by my reality.

Keep in mind, at this time I was still forced into weekly "supervised visits" with my abuser (and the supervisor was one of his allies).

When I was 17, I was diagnosed with depression triggered by learned helplessness.  And the counselor who figured this out?  Pointed out that I was damn near 18.  Argued to the court that I should be allowed to choose whether or not to "visit" with my abuser. 

My grades shot up.  And my panic attacks tapered off in frequency, but not severity.  But.  I learned to deal with them, and get through them.  I learned how to push them off until I had time to let it happen and get through it. 

And I got through college (with the help of my then-boyfriend for the first year of college, now-husband).  In spite of continuing panic attacks.

Without medication, since I reacted incredibly badly to it.*  Or, since I'd aged out of the system, further "professional" help. 

Because my focus had changed.  From "what's wrong with me" to "let's do this in spite of what's wrong with me."

I have the feeling that if the "mental health" industry would refocus from drugging those seeking help to teaching coping tactics (after they dope-slapped the self-absorbed out of their own egos), the far, radical Left currently throwing public tantrums would be far, far smaller. 

Although...that might be why the meds and crippling sympathy are all that's handed out.  People blinded by their self-absorption don't see the strings being tied onto them by the puppet-masters.

*Most anti-anxiety drugs made things worse.  So did anti-depressants.  And the oldest one, Prozac, removed almost all of my self-control and increased my rage to near-homicidal levels, and it took seven or eight years for me to stabilize after that.

Tuesday, July 3, 2018

Not sure why charges were even considered.

Last week, we had an incident in the town where I live (large town--about 75K people living in the town proper plus the bedroom communities).  A pedestrian decided to try to cross one of the busiest streets in town.  Not at a cross walk.  Against the lights. 

The inevitable happened. 

The individual driving will not be charged. 

Thing is, I don't see why that was even considered.  The street in question has a 45mph speed limit, two lanes going either direction, plus a left turn lane in the middle.  Most of the people who live here don't like crossing that road.  But for whatever reason, the pedestrian decided to not just cross that road, but jaywalk through traffic.

Yes, they died.  But it was a result of their own stupidity. 

I don't know, maybe they were on a cell phone and not paying attention...but that doesn't make it any less stupid.

I honestly can't bring myself to feel sorry for the pedestrian.  Their family, yes, but not them.  That kind of stupid really shouldn't be let out on its own.  It's one of the reasons I'm trying to brainwash my kids to call stupid what it is, and to not participate in it. 

No, the person I feel the worst for is the driver.    Because they have an accidental death on their conscience, through absolutely no fault of their own (given traffic on that road, they may have saved lives by not hitting the brakes and causing a massive pile-up--even if they had time to stop, nobody around them would have been able to avoid hitting them).

The only negligence I see is that of the pedestrian, and they've already paid for that. 

Charges for the driver shouldn't have been even a brief consideration, given the rest of the facts.

Saturday, June 16, 2018

Bit of a rant.

I've seen a lot of people screeching incoherently about children being ripped from nursing at their mothers' breasts, and separated and put in *gasp* concentration camps!!!

What these fucktards are conveniently forgetting is one simple thing these parents could have done to prevent this from being done to their families:

Don't.  Come.  Here.  Illegally

Fucking duh

American parents who commit crimes are ripped away from their children and sent to prison.  If there are no family members available to take custody of the children, they're put into situations worse than most can comprehend: the children get stuck in limbo, in state custody and control.  They may be put into a good foster home, or they may be put with abusers who might rape them or murder them. 

And nobody screams about that. 

No, they're just screeching like fucking psychologically disturbed brain damaged monkeys about the people who shouldn't be fucking coming here in the first place, getting their children removed from them. 

Well, dumbasses, I can see another possible solution: start shooting the human smugglers on sight.  Shoot any male who crosses the border on sight.  Turn any female around, and make sure she knows there are guns aimed at her until she's well and truly back in the country she tried to cross from.  They'll stop, or they'll die out.  Either is fine by me.

No, I'm not saying I think the situation is right.  I'm saying the situation is wrong, starting with the actions of the so-called parents putting their children in the danger that the fucking window-lickers are screeching about.

I think that, along with shooting the smugglers and adult males crossing (especially those with specific tattoos), we need to publicly prosecute any hiring manager of any company that hires illegal aliens (not immigrants--immigrants are legal), and every employee of any temp agency that deals with them.  Every hiring manager needs to be sentenced to a mandatory ten years per illegal alien hired, no parole possible, consecutive sentencing only.  We need to sentence the construction companies picking up day laborers from the Home Depot/Lowes/whatever parking lots the same way. 

Hell, I'm in favor of sentencing those pushing the DACA act with the same guidelines.  

We need to make it hurt for those attracting the parasites. 

Friday, June 15, 2018

Adventures in parenting

I found out, this week, why my son hadn't been using his Kindle Fire, in spite of adoring the silly thing: it had somehow gotten de-registered to the account, and the WiFi was switched to airplane mode.  NO clue how. 

I also have no clue how I managed to figure out how to fix it.  I am a barely competent user of MS Word, and of some aspects of Firefox.  My personal Kindle is a Paperwhite (which I dearly love, and which is very much uncomplicated).

Also, this week, the kids had day camp at their school: a 2 hr/day, 4 day class on using iPads.  And playing coding games. 

Yep.  Coding games. 

I am inclined to get the kids a netbook and make the home page Khan Academy.  I want them to learn to take care of their tech better than I've learned, and earlier. 

(there are also a few touch-typing game sites I'd be setting them up with) 

Other than that?  They've been playing outside with water pistols, watching TV, and doing normal kid summer stuff this week. 

Including complaining of being bored and pushing boundaries. 

I need to find something else to have them do--swim lessons, VBS, something.  I got them sidewalk chalk and Popsicle molds today (which have been filled and stuck in the giant upright freezer in the garage).  But they need more, especially while we've got mid-90s (or more) highs, and no lower than 60% humidity daily, with not enough wind to offset that.

I've got two more months and they go back to school. 

Wednesday, June 6, 2018

Love it!

So, back in January, I got m'self a new pair of headphones.  Spent more than I usually do on headphones on them, too--around $50 for the one pair.  They're wireless-capable, but also have an audio cable jack. 

Which is why I bought them in the first place. 

Previously, my headphones had failed right where the wire goes into the jack on the end that plugs into the computer, somewhere between the three and six month mark.  The headphones themselves likely would have kept working, were it not for that one spot.  Every time. 

My headphones' audio cable broke day before yesterday.  So I unplugged the audio cable, set it up to listen to music wirelessly, and put in an order for new cables from Amazon--5' cables, rather than the dinky 3' one that came with the headphones. 

These headphones are very good in sound quality: balance of treble and bass is very good, and everything is just crystal clear.  They're incredibly comfortable, too--I have, in the past, worn them all day without winding up with my ears sore from pressure.  And, if the kids are watching something utterly obnoxious (a frequent occurance), I can unplug and just wander around doing housework with the headphones blocking out the crap they like watching. 

The replacements arrived today, and the 5' length means it's easier to work at my desk.  An extra two feet of audio cable means I don't have to sit hunched forward to listen to music.  I can lean back and stretch without either taking off the headphones voluntarily or getting them yanked off when I forget how short three feet is.  Best yet?  Four cables from Amazon (at about $8) was less than a decent set of cheap headphones (at least $15, going sharply up from there) that won't last but maybe six months. 

And then, when all four of the cables have broken, I can get another set.  Because I really doubt the headphones themselves will have worn out by then. 

And when you consider that the headphones themselves are vital writing equipment?  Massively good deal, here. 

Monday, May 28, 2018

Dumb dog.

So.  Yesterday, we got up as usual on weekend mornings, and found that the kids had let the dog out (also like usual on weekend mornings).

What wasn't like usual was that either the imp or pixie had messed up.  The gate was ajar.

And the dog...got out.  And vanished.

We looked for her, ran the mower (partially because it needed it, partially because we thought it'd bring her out of hiding), looked for her again, left a message with the humane society.

Found out from the neighbor that the dog catcher had been just east of us, very early yesterday morning.  So I checked the Humane Society's page again, where they post pictures of lost pets.  Sure enough--she was there.



They're closed today.  Sad dog in doggie jail's gonna have to wait for her bail-out until tomorrow afternoon.

And then, directly following, she's getting a bath and shorn like a kid going into boot camp.

Maybe not a dumb dog...maybe she planned it?  Because the bath and haircut were on the schedule for yesterday. 

Update:  Dog has been bailed out, and is home sleeping on her patio.  She rode home in the back seat of the Subaru, alternating which child's lap she was in at any given moment.  Lots of giggles and doggie kisses.  

Thursday, May 24, 2018

Pens! And Ink! And Paper!

I've been craving new pens for a while.  And new, pretty inks.  It wasn't helped by Odysseus suggesting that the next volume in the Liquid Diet Chronicles (to be written after I finish the current project of the 4th, but CLEARLY not last Modern Gods book, at this point in the writing process) should be done in a burgundy or dark crimson.

Anyhow, I resisted the temptation...and then I gave in.  Odysseus told me to go ahead and make the order I was considering from Goulet Pens, and I did.  I ordered a Platinum Preppy because I've heard a lot about the silly little $4 pens (yeah, they're cheap, and kinda ugly, but damn do they write well), a TWSBI vac mini (it posts, was a little bit less than the full sized one, and something I'd been really wanting for a while, now), a sample of Noodler's Black Swan in English Roses (gorgeous, water-resistant red burgundy), and a full bottle of their Red-Black (which looks like you wrote in blood, and it dried).

I hadn't ordered pens or ink for myself in about a year.  And Odysseus told me that this was my early (but not by a lot) anniversary present.*

I also ordered a set of Jinhao shark pens for my imp, who held his grades to all A's and B's (with the exception of his handwriting, which is still better than his daddy's).  My imp, who loves snitching my fountain pens, and requests a few inked up with his favorite colors every so often, gave me one of his set of seven pens, and gave the pixie another.  And the dumb little things are absolutely spectacularly nice writers.  The little black shark in Chinese fine (finer than European fine) is incredibly smooth.

In any case, my fingers are ink-stained a bit, I have spatters on my left shin from where I dropped an ink syringe that I was using to fill a converter from a sample vial for the pixie, and I couldn't be happier.

In other news, my local Walmart had finally restocked their smaller Pen+Gear brand smaller 5-subject notebooks.   Hadn't happened in a while, and my current favorite is that particular notebook that I'd written out the rough of Bite Sized in (I'm excited--that book has eight reviews, more than any single one of my other books, and all are 5-star), and am working through drafting Gods and Monsters in the second section.  Walmart had three left.   

Had.

I now have those notebooks in mint green (my old one), royal blue, red, and black. 

I also snagged a package of their top-spiral memo books and mini-comp-books (same size as the little spiral books)--at $0.88 cents a pack (three in the comp book pack, four in the spiral memos), it was worth a try.  I'm shocked and thrilled by how well they stand up under fountain pen ink, and am now questioning my choice to give the kids one of each out of the two packages to go with their new composition books.

Hi, my name is HH, and I'm a pen and paper nerd.  And I share the voices in my head with anyone who wants a listen.  

*I've already collected part of his Father's Day gifts, and know what I'm doing for his anniversary presents.