My blankie

It isn't a blankie, per se.  It's books.  I have found that being surrounded by books has a significant positive effect on my mental and emotional well-being. 

I have a bookcase full of books to my left at my new desk.  I will have one to my right soon enough.  Both in my peripheral vision while I'm at my desk working (which is actually a lot of the time, now).

At the old house, we had 400 sq. ft. smaller of an area to work with.  We had three bedrooms, one living space, an eat-in kitchen, and a utility room/pantry.  One wall on the living room had bookcases (not very tall), one wall had storage cubbies, and one had the TV and DVDs.  Our bedroom held the majority of books that weren't in storage.

I love my children dearly.  I love my children enough that I gave up having a library so that the pixie and imp didn't have to share a bedroom. 

That actually put something like 3/4 of our books in storage.

Those are slowly being brought back out.  The low bookcases that were in the living room now reside one each in the kids' rooms.  Because their grandpa made them.  We have a 3 shelf bookcase in the family room with kids' books in it, a knock together 5 shelf (modified with an extra from one that fell apart), a similar quality 4 shelf one (that will likely move to the master bedroom in a few months), and two solid wood hand made 6 shelf bookcases.  Every one is packed with books, and most of our books are still in boxes in the garage. 

By the time this room is finished, we will have three bookcases full of books on the long wall with the doorway, and maybe five on the opposite wall.  The short wall shared with the family room has four big pass through openings from waist high to about a foot from the ceiling, and the outside wall has a huge window overlooking the front yard, road, and trees across the road.  And this is where my desk is set. 

For the past three and a half years, I've taught my classes in the university library.  Even though I'm not surrounded by books in the classroom, the smell pervades.  It grants a level of peace and serenity that I otherwise wouldn't have had.  For the past seven years, I've been without the majority of books at home, because until we found and purchased this beautiful place, we simply didn't have the room.

Well, that, and we didn't trust the kids (particularly the pixie) to not climb the bookcases.

But now, the kids are older (and taller, and know where the step-stools are), and we do have the room.  It may take a while (and a LOT of work), but my library is being rebuilt with solid wood replacing particle board.*

*The bookcases we had made of particle board were sagging, breaking pegs, and listing under the weight of the load of books on their shelves.  I'm glad to have solid wood ones going in.

...and CreateSpace is back.

Good thing, too.  I'm not unhappy with the quality of Amazon's print on demand paperbacks, but I'm not happy with it, either.  It's several steps below CreateSpace--standard pulp fiction paper. 

Yes, that means I got my copy.  I'm also not happy with that process.  Where CreateSpace permits for author copies to be ordered, Amazon does not.  You have to pay full list price for one of your books. 

I admire Amazon for making the effort, but the effort falls far short of what it should turn out.  And doesn't make things simple for authors at all. 

Now available in Kindle:

(And yes, I have set it available to read for free on Kindle Unlimited--just like all of my other books--for those of you who are curious, but don't want to shell out a few bucks to buy them)



This went live last night.  My cover artist is on Facebook, paints a lot, and sells her work.  If you're interested in looking her up, her name is Rhonda Palmer.

I fully credit Dorothy Grant with the cover copy/description of the book.  Mine sucked.  Big time.

I am getting back to writing The Schrodinger Paradox.  I know exactly where it's going, and may have part 3 done before the end of the month.  Maybe.  I also have papers coming due as of tomorrow. 

Realizations

So, since I am finishing out my final few weeks of my last semester, I've come to a few realizations.  Realization the first: I am sick of academia.  Last week, there was a Hijab Day on campus.  The Muslim Student Association hosted a series of presentations lying about what the function of the garment was for the culture, and how it was a choice to wear it.  They also had scarves and Muslim girls to teach the Western girls how to wear them, and selfie booths.  They complained, the day after, about how few people bought their bullshit were interested in what they had to say/try on the mark of being considered subhuman. 

I also have to walk on eggshells grading the papers of minorities, or trying to get anyone to question their assumptions (or even admit that there are unstated assumptions underlying claims that may make them absolutely the opposite of persuasive to those who do not share those assumptions). 

I am, and have been, sick of the atmosphere on campus for years, now.  I'm sure that the Soviet Union was worse, but only because they'd actually kill you for holding a dissenting opinion (though I'm sure Berkley would like to head in that direction). 

Realization the second: my Office suite comes to me through the university.  I may have to either switch to Open Office, despite not liking it nearly as well, or hope that I can continue using it for a while.  Because I can't buy a copy right now. 

Realization the third: One of the reasons I've not been writing is that I simply didn't have the energy, mental, emotional, or spiritual, to write.  The other is that I was so damn miserable that I was reading instead of writing, retreating into places other than the one I was in.  Part of that was the awful health problems (not resolved, but mitigated, and managed to the extent they could be), part was the horrid neighbors that moved in next door in '15, and part was dreading going back at the start of each semester.

Realization the fourth: Teaching takes a lot more out of me than I thought it did.  I'm capable of doing a lot more if I am not also in front of a classroom for six hours a week, interacting with students.  I don't know if it's the social interaction draining me, or if it's the way I teach (active, all over the classroom, and hanging over shoulders during group and individual worktime, monitoring how my students are doing and offering suggestions and help). 

Realization the fifth: I can be writing a LOT with it set as my fulltime "job."  I can do around 1500 words per hour.  If the story's coming well, I can do somewhere around 4-6K words per day, before I'm fried.  And my endurance may climb after a while.  And I've got work enough for a while--I have a LOT of ideas I just haven't had time or energy to develop. 

A thought...

I've been noting a lot of noise surrounding Weinstein and his treatment of women.  More to the point, his assaults.  There've been a LOT of people coming forward, admitting that they've been harassed, molested, and/or raped.  It isn't just women, either--it's women, men, and children.  And from the sounds of it, it's endemic in the industry. 

Everyone knows of how Roman Polanski raped a thirteen year old girl, then flipped her over and raped her ass when she was afraid to fight him off for fear that she'd never be able to fulfill her dream of acting and told him she wasn't on the pill.  He ignored her protests, ignored her saying no, and forced himself on a child.

And Whoopi Goldberg said it wasn't "rape, rape," because she didn't fight. 

Several years ago, Corey Haim committed suicide.  Because he was repeatedly raped in his teens by directors he didn't name.  Corey Feldman almost self-destructed with drugs and alcohol for the same reason.  He still doesn't name them, but unlike all of  these other victims coming out as victims, he explained why.

It's not because he's afraid he'll never work in Hollywood again (he doesn't anymore; why would he be afraid of that?). 

It's because his predators have made it absolutely clear to him that, should he name names, they'll take him to court for defamation of character. 

They'd win, too.  They still have HUGE amounts of money rolling in.  They feel safe from being investigated, much less charged and/or convicted. 

The individuals howling for actors of all ages and sexes to name names either don't know this, or they don't care that the victims would be harmed again, would have to relive that trauma again during the lawsuits, would still lose, and all at the hands of the predators that had hurt them in the first place.

Now that the dust has settled...

"Bar Tabs" has been out for a week and a half.  And The Godshead came off the free promo as of midnight.  Stats look...surprisingly good,* considering few people actually read or like mythology.  I've got the one book I'm doing the final edits on, and have plans for one last one in the works (and a few stories scribbled down for that one), but then I'll likely do nothing more than the occasional short story in the Modern Gods universe. 

Let me get Fire and Forge all wrapped up and published (thanks again to the utterly magnificent Dorothy Grant for the help with the hardest part of the process), and we'll see what else I can get finished this month.


*"Bar Tabs" sold 7 copies outright, with another 4 copies read through KU.  I gave away a whopping 73 copies of The Godshead.  And a couple of my other, older books purchased or started as a KU read. 

Dorothy Grant is brilliant.

I hate writing the bit that goes on the back cover of a paperback.  I can never get it done quite right.  I'm always afraid I'm giving away what other people would consider spoilers, so I end up not saying enough. 

Dorothy Grant recently wrote a piece over at a blog I'm fairly fond of reading when I've got the processing capacity to spare (as I often don't) that gets into the nitty-gritty of writing and publishing fiction.  The piece she wrote was about how to write what goes on the back cover.  And she graciously helped those of us who have trouble with such.

Including me.

I'll be fiddling with it a little, but the hard part is done. 

Now to just finish up the last two edits...

My desk is already a mess.

I cannot claim complete credit for that, however.  I've had help.  Furry help.  Playing "fuck that thing" with my pens and coasters, flopping and knocking off the phone charger...shoving stuff around so they can situate their furry bodies where and how they want to.  Tipping my chair over backwards.  Flopping on my keyboard while a document's open. 

I have an idea for the keyboard thing, but the rest is going to take organizers.  And a chair that fits the desk well enough I can open the drawers and use them. 

It's also going to be a bit of a fight for a while keeping my desk to myself.  The imp just loves it.  I've promised him that, when he's older and willing to get his toys out of the way, he can have his own student's desk in his room.  I'm pretty sure one can be fit in pretty easy, but not with everything else he has in there.  He'll just have to make do with doing his homework on the library table. 

Might could get him a wee bit more comfortable of a chair, though.  I swear, the one office chair I had was designed by Torquemada. 

In any case, both workspaces in the library have need of a "fuck that thing" resistant organizer.  And maybe some double stick tape, or friction backing. 

In the meantime, all I want is a comfy chair for my work desk, a footstool (because I'm short and my feet would be dangling), and something for my pens that the cats can't knock around.

And it needs to be good sized.  Because I've got at least a dozen pens I use on a regular basis.  And most of THOSE aren't small (2 Conklin Duragraphs, 1 Conklin crescent fill, 4 Jinhao 599s, a Lamy Safari, a TWSBI Eco, a TWSBI Diamond AL in turquoise, and hopefully a second in clear, a couple Parkers, and a lever fill pen older than my mother, judging by the placement of where the clip should go on the cap, of indeterminate make that has one of my all-time favorite nibs to write with). 

And yes, all of those pens DO have different colors of ink in them.  Why else have so many inked up for use?

I already have a set I want for me bookmarked.  Now I just need to find something that will work for the kids. 

That was...intense.

Yesterday, I wrote that I had found and bought a desk on Friday.  Yesterday, I set up on it with my laptop, a chair that's too short and won't slide into the knee-hole, and got to work copy editing Fire and Forge.  I actually got 202 of 208 pages (single spaced, MS Word, not quite 92K words) copy-edited.  I was at my desk for about seven hours straight, working with only bathroom breaks and snuggle the kids before bed breaks. 

I have little doubt that I'll do similar when I'm writing.  I wonder what my productivity will look like without the wariness of looking over my shoulder every little bit during office hours, with music on the stereo, with an actually comfortable chair...because without those things, I'm capable of getting about 1.5K words per hour. 

I am going to go through the printed draft I have with a pen and see where I can tighten language here, or add a little bit there, to make it a stronger book.  That should be finished by the end of next week, at the latest. 

Then, I'll start through the publishing process. 

This week will be a short and semi-easy one.  Monday and Tuesday classes are cancelled altogether for Fall Break.*  Thursday is peer editing day for paper 3.  Two and a half hours of class, and two hours of office hours.  Yeah, will probably be done by Friday, and starting the publishing process.

(In the meantime, Amazon just recommended "Bar Tabs" to me.)

I'm kinda planning to see how much writing I can get done.  Gonna start a project in November, after I finish up two others (and have Fire and Forge published) and see if I can finish it in the same month. 

*One of my students suggested, and I agree, that it would have been more convenient for everyone if the university had just given us a week at Thanksgiving, rather than two days in October, and three in November, to match Spring Break. 

I have a desk!!!

Odysseus played hookey from work, yesterday (he took the first day off he's had off since...I think May our anniversary at the beginning of July, as he reminded me).  We got our address changed with the Department of Revenue (MO's DMV).  Was much less work, and much less painful than we were expecting.  They printed up a change of address card and taped it to the back of the license--I think partially because MO is moving toward the RealID BS embraced by the rest of the country (Papers, please...).

I'd also decided what I'd wanted to do in our library in front of our picture window looking out over the front yard and the trees across the road: I decided I wanted a desk.  One with, preferably, filing cabinet drawers.  I wanted to find the one I wanted so that I had a goal to save towards.

I found, instead, a desk made perhaps in the 1950s.  It's about 3 1/2 to 4' wide, maybe 18-20" deep, and a little shorter than modern desks.  Not by a lot, but definitely by a little.  The drawers are NOT wide enough OR deep enough to be filing cabinet drawers, but I have three on each side of the knee hole, and a pen drawer in the middle.  The veneer is gone on one of the front parts of the legs, and is trying to come off of one of the drawers, and another one of the drawers is missing its drawer pull.

The knee hole is a tight 18" wide.  Finding a comfortable desk chair is going to be a challenge.

I have found one, I think.  It's going to cost double what the desk did ($27 from one of our two local DAV thrift stores).  The desk organizer set I want is going to cost almost half what we paid.  Desk organizer plus blotter will probably overshoot what the desk cost by a few bucks.

But I do have a desk.  For the first time in more than a decade, I have a desk of my own. 

Well, now...

I got an email, last week, from the head of the English department of the university I work for.  "We regret to inform you that, due to a really tight schedule, we don't have any classes for you to teach in the spring semester.  We'll keep you in mind if we need to open more sections."

God's looking after me. 

I've known for the past year and a half that I can't be a good wife, good mother, good teacher, and write.  I've known for the past year that I can't be a good wife and mother as well as a good teacher.  I wouldn't have quit, but my standards for taking care of my family were sliding.  And my health was getting harder to manage a decent balance with.  And my mental well-being was slipping with the lack of writing. 

It's not an issue anymore.  Took a push, but I am not worried (much) about it.  I'll miss the classroom, and I'll miss the students, but I sure won't miss the atmosphere or the grading. 

(I now know what the constant fear of someone reporting something you say as wrongthink feels like.  Academia apparently thought Orwell's 1984 was a How-To manual for controlling people's very minds.  And the university where I work is nowhere near as bad as many others.)

Teaching is a HUGE energy drain.  It's actually more of an energy drain to teach two classes than it is to do three household chores (dishes, laundry,* picking up clutter throughout the whole house) AND do shopping.  Takes longer to recover from, and that's before you add in the grading...which is an energy drain in a different way.  I just...can't do it anymore.  And I fully admit that.  I also fully admit that without the energy drain of teaching, without that weight of dreading the next set of grading, I may well have an easier time of recovering--maybe even to the point of the CFS going into remission. 

If I am offered a couple of sections at the last minute, I'll likely take them.  It is going to be a stretch, financially not teaching--we can manage, but I'd like a little more of a pad, so I'd take the sections.  But I do think it'll be the last classes I'd take. 

*Laundry means getting the load back and into the washer, then into the dryer, then going for another load into the washer. As current energy expenditures stand, I can't move stuff from the washer to the dryer--wet clothes are heavy--and have enough left in my energy budget to do ANYTHING else. 

Free for the weekend

Actually, for the next 5 days: today, tomorrow, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday.




Why?  Because Fire and Forge (third Modern Gods book) will be up before the end of the month in Kindle and paperback (and yes, I'll let everybody know how I'm finding the paperback publishing interface as compared to CreateSpace's). 

Writing news...

So, last night, I got off my ass and published "Bar Tabs." I've set it to be available through Kindle Unlimited, so if you subscribe to that, it's free to read. 

I also, with my darling, brilliant husband's help, got the cover art for Fire and Forge scanned in.  I started messing about with CreateSpace, since that's what I used for the previous two...but it messed the bed and wouldn't bring up the page I needed to create the cover. 

I noticed, whilst getting "Bar Tabs" set to go on Kindle, that Amazon now offers an option for publishing as a paperback...so I'll be going that route with Fire and Forge. 

I'm doing one last, final edit, and trying--not succeeding, mind you, but trying--to come up with a cover blurb. 

This is what the cover artist came up with for the book:

Awesome, isn't it?  It's going on the wall when Odysseus gets home from work. 

To celebrate both the short story, and finally getting the scanner set up and linked up with the new laptop,* I'm setting The Godshead as a free promo, starting Thursday, and running through Monday.  If you're a Kindle Unlimited subscriber, it's free, anyway. 

*My cover artist took a while on this.  She had a lot of absolute and utter shit dropped in her lap just after I'd asked her to do this.  I didn't begrudge any of the time it took her to actually create this.  When she got it to me, my scanner had just shit the bed, big time.  And then my health took a huge hit (no, it hasn't recovered, but I've learned to live with it).  Then, we moved.  And my laptop quit working, requiring the purchase of a new one with Windows 10, and it and the scanner had to be talked through negotiations before they'd work together. 

The second amendment protects the first

Or, at least, it's supposed to. 

I'm beginning to wonder. 

Recently, a favorite author who's a hell of a character with the type of sick sense of humor that tends to set me giggling, got banned from a social media platform for a month.

For posting song lyrics.

Someone reported it as offensive.

Granted, as the author admits, it was a particularly vile band.  Yeah, their stuff is offensive, nasty, and inappropriate.  But not ban-worthy, especially since the platform prohibits children under a certain age from setting up accounts.  Nor is quoting their stuff ban worthy.

Hell, I see LOTS of stuff on social media and regular media that offends me: my state pushing to open more abortion clinics in urban areas where minorities congregate; memes and posts denigrating men in general, and white men in specific; memes and posts advocating slavery (forcing individuals to provide service in private industry); ignorance, and a general lack of understanding (or even a wish to understand) the workings of the gods of the copybook headings.

I have not reported any of these things offensive. 

(I have posted as offensive spam ads masquerading as social media posts, specifically when they're political, and as far from factually correct as it's possible to be.)

I do not report things posted by individuals as offensive, no matter how offensive I find them.  To be honest, I'd rather know who the idiots are so I can avoid them in real life.  Or at least avoid the topics, if the idiots have made their way into my circle of friends.  It is each individual's right to hold whatever political opinions they hold, just as it is my right to disregard the utter dreck they claim as "facts" to support their opinions. 

If I'm truly offended by someone, I simply quietly unfollow them.  As I did to a couple of bands I really enjoyed who got too evangelically political.*  I scroll past the offensive posts.  I ignore stuff. 

I'm a grown up, and I know that offensive material does not cause actual harm to me--I've got thicker skin than most.  And I'm not the morality police.  It's above my pay grade to say something is good, and right--or bad and wrong.   Nor do I have the right to silence dissenting opinions, no matter how stupid they are.

*True believers who try to save people who don't believe from the sin of unbelief, and count those who disagree because circular arguments aren't evidence, and because the plural of "anecdote" is not "data," as evil.

Yikes.

Classes have been going for three weeks or so, now.  Kids' school for a couple days longer.

And I've been trying to fight off a flare up of the CFS.  And failing.

From research, I've found that there's a close connection between getting enough of certain nutrients found in greatest concentration in beef and remission.  I've been eating more beef.

Problem lies on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  Not only do I wear myself out with two 75-minute classes, back to back, but have another two hours of office hours following.  This puts me home at 1:00, with dinner in four hours.  And no energy to fix something to eat.

I've still got some roast in the freezer, but it's dwindling.  So I tried substituting for something else for lunches.  It's not been working well.

Fridays are shopping days.  I wound up getting a lot of meat, today: a flank steak, a 5-lb roast, and a 10 lb roll of hamburger meat.  I need to make up some soups and stuff to go in the freezer with the burger, and do the roast for freezer leftovers.

And wouldn't you know it, I totally forgot the stupid bell peppers for stuffed pepper soup (it's in my recipes tab up top).

I do, however, have the ingredients for taco soup (see bottom of post, if interested).  And that's going to be thrown together first (like on Sunday), while the roast is cooking.

There are a few other things that make up quick, but they don't freeze well.  Broth-based soups, beans, rice...those do.

Next week, I'll have my classes' first papers due.  They peer-edit on Tuesday, then turn them in to me on Thursday.  I have a couple casseroles for that week, as well as some simple throw a few ingredients in a skillet and let it go meals (which includes one both of my children will eat, and will complain if I DON'T make--recipe on request in a different post).

In the mean time...I'm falling behind on a lot of household things, and can't really get caught up.

Writing, however, is actually going.  Not quickly, but fairly steadily.





Edited
Taco Soup
1 lb ground beef
1 sm onion, chopped
1 pkg taco seasoning
1 pkg ranch dressing mix
1 can black beans
2 cans pinto beans
1 can corn
1 c water

Brown meat with onion.  Add all other ingredients, heat to hot (about 20 minutes or so).

I've found that the water can make this a little bland, so I'm likely to use either a can of Ro-Tel or a can of enchilada sauce. 

EDITED
I added 2 cans ro-tel, and substituted 1 can of enchilada sauce for the 1 c water, this time.  Turned out delicious with cheese.  So, final recipe:

1 lb ground beef
1 onion
1 pkg (1/4 c) taco seasoning
1 pkg (1.5 tbsp) ranch dressing mix
1 can black beans
1 can corn
2 cans pinto beans
2 cans ro-tel
1 can enchilada sauce

Instructions remain the same.  

Horror

I went to a meeting, today.  We were discussing the "learning goals" around research papers.  My department head had a grading rubric with 11 things on it, regarding such.  I'd already gotten this through email, and had skimmed through it thinking "Do that already.  Yep.  Yep.  Yep.  Oh, and that one, too."  I figured today would be a waste of time.

Come to find out today, about half the people in the meeting do half the things on the rubric when teaching the research assignment, and not the same half between them.  Some things were left totally untouched. 

What.

The. 

SHIT????

These people ALL teach the same class I teach.  All of them teach research papers.  Nobody mentions other citation styles than MLA in conjunction with major.  Nobody works on integrating source credibility in their lectures.  Few discuss currency and relevance regarding the sources.  Few discuss actually pulling the information together into a coherent argument, or looking at how different sources use and offer different types of evidence.  They all simply focus (over-focus?) on the technical: you cite the source only and exactly like this, but only in this situation, and your bib is called Works Cited, and you must do this, this, and this, in this order, or it's wrong.

I...have just had further illustrated to me exactly why English departments are fading in relevance to EVERY OTHER FREAKIN' DEPARTMENT on campus.

We have ONE job that the campus as a whole deems even remotely valuable.  And we're falling down on it.

We (they) are not doing our damn jobs.  

First week down

I survived the first week of class.  I skipped office hours on Tuesday and went over to the English department to sign my contract, only to find that NOBODY had their contract, yet.  HR hadn't gotten them together for ANYONE, faculty or staff.  In point of fact, I didn't get the email notifying me that contracts were ready for signatures until Friday afternoon.

Wednesday, I crashed.  I overdid it a little Monday and Tuesday, and just crashed.  I fixed food, but didn't get much else done.  I did notice that the dishwasher had water standing in the bottom.  Again.  And I put it on my ever-lengthening to-do list. 

Thursday, I wound up spending from 8:00 to almost 11:00 up on my feet (for the most part--kinda gotta sit to take roll).  We started their first papers, and discussion was raucous and free-wheeling, in both classes, taking up the whole time.  I was flattened afterwards, but it was so worth it.  Tons of fun. 

Friday, I had a to-do list a mile long: shopping, running stuff up to Mom's, cleaning, grabbing kids, and cleaning some more.  I managed to get it all done, and got home and collapsed to find that email alerting me that my contract had gotten into my mailbox around 4:00 or so. 

The dishwasher is running fine, now.  The appliance repair guy said to run a cycle with no dishes, and add about a quart of cleaning vinegar.  Run so it goes through the pump, pop the dishwasher open so that it soaks in good, run for a few minutes, pop open to soak, repeat one more time.  Doesn't smell bad, and fixes the problem.  He also recommended to make sure dish soap does not go down the sink where the garbage disposal is.  Because then it gets into the dishwasher, and makes problems.

I did manage to get most of my to do list done.  There are just a few bits left--paper filing, yarn organization, and general decluttering from moving in.  Odysseus has most of his accomplished, too.  Including getting the riding mower fixed (which he did himself, and feels accomplished for having done--as well he should, since I don't think he's done anything like it before). 

Kids' homework is done, backpacks are re-packed, and laundry done for them for the week.  The imp's plastic dressers (why get him something nice when he's so rambunctious that he'll tear it apart?) have been put in a more logical place that may see his toys not migrate in amongst his clothes. 

Next on the list is making a couple of lasagnas: one for supper, one for the freezer.

Oh, and dosing the pets with the topical flea stuff. 

Musings on a theme

I've been thinking, recently.  (Dangerous, I know.  Bear with me.)

There are certain markers that there will be strife in a relationship.  Lack of communication.  Differences in money-handling styles.  Filing taxes as "married, filing separately."  Not maintaining a joint checking account. 

Most of this has in common a "you and me" (or just "me me me") attitude, instead of a "we" attitude.  Thinking of the family unit as individuals, rather than as a team. 

Notice that most of this is about money?  That's because it's one of the top marriage breakers (just after infidelity). 

If you think "my money" and "his/her money," instead of "household money," you're setting yourself up for resentment, anger, disappointment, guilt (which leads to the rest), and a whole host of other negative emotions that will wind up focused on your spouse. 

Odysseus had a finances professor in college that said that married people filing separately are both being stupid, and heading for divorce.  Stupid, because that's when, where, and how you get hammered with nowhere near as many deductions.  Often, couples filing taxes separately wind up paying in when couples making the same income but filing jointly get back as much as they paid in, if not more.

I can think of one case where it didn't work like that, but that case was a massive clusterfuck, start to finish, and was completely caused by the non-military spouse spending a massive chunk of money that landed in the family accounts by mistake, instead of setting it aside to hand back when the military demanded it back.  In that case, filing separately got them a small tax rebate (which would have paid back about half the debt that was incurred before penalties were inflicted).  Filing jointly would have gotten the entire rebate garnished, with a lot of debt left to pay.

That is, also, the only time I can think of in recent experience where a joint account was a mistake.  Most of the time, the joint account is the best way to handle a family budget with two incomes. Imagine, if you will, a household where you have a blended family.  Dad takes care of most of the bills.  Mom takes care of one or two, but it's not a lot.  There's no joint account, and the bills are all in Dad's name. 

Dad wants to free up some money for a project he wants to do.  All of his income is being taken up, and not much of Mom's is going toward bills.  So Dad asks Mom to pull a bit more of her and her kids' (not all his, by any means) weight by paying some.  But there's no joint account, and the bills are in his name.  Makes sense to him to ask for the money to pay the bills. 

Mom doesn't see it that way.  She screams and cries every time she hands over cash to pay the bills she's been asked to carry.  Call it about a quarter of the monthly budget.  But it's her money, and he's taking it. 

This situation is untenable.  It is going to break. 

Now, if there'd been a joint account set up, things would have been simplified.  Odysseus and I have a joint account.  He has a separate debit account, too, but there's that joint account.  His name is on most of the bills (I have one, just so I can show a utility bill for voting registration purposes).  I am in charge of day to day month to month budgeting and bill paying.  That joint account makes it easy, since my name and his are on the checks. 

If the previous hypothetical situation had included a joint account, with Mom having the responsibility to pay the bills out of it from "her" money and the money Dad deposited from his checks, Mom might not have freaked out.  

Marriage counselors would privately think that the lack of a joint account indicated a lack of trust.  They may or may not say such.  Mom may not trust Dad to deposit the money needed for bills, or Dad might not trust Mom not to clean him out. 

Point of fact, the whole issue revolves around a lack of trust that the other has the family's best interests in mind.  On both parts. 

Like I said.  Odysseus and I have a joint account that both our checks go into without discussion.  Then again, we also discuss money decisions.  I don't discuss the grocery budget with him, because I'm the food purchaser, I'm a miser, and we shop together often enough he's got a good idea of what spending in general is.  No, what we discuss are things that cost more than about fifty bucks.  And we decide together whether the budget can absorb it, if it's something new, or timing on when we can do something that we've been discussing.  Yes, I have the checkbook.  I have the online banking passwords.  I watch the budget, and I do the day to day stuff.  I'm better at details, and making sure stuff gets done on time.  Odysseus is better at long-term planning, and knowing how much we have to save in small increments for how long to do what we want to do. 

It seems, sometimes, like we are unique in this.  I don't think we have any friends locally who do this. 

I don't think we have any local friends whose marriages lasted longer than about ten years, either.

Go figure.

First days and countdowns

I just dropped the kids off for their first day of school for the 2017/18 school year.  Their private Christian school, known throughout the area for academic excellence on par with the secular private school at a quarter of the annual tuition, starts the first week of the school year on Thursdays to give kids and teachers a slow start to get back into the routine.  Thinking back to my public school that always had a full week to start, I think this is, perhaps, the wisest move for the teachers.  They were always so fried by the end of the week...

I start back next week.  My class site goes open for my students as of Saturday.  I need to go add content to it.  And finish editing my textbook. 

Currently, I'm sitting at the table in the library at our new home.  Laptop is on the table, ergo keyboard on my lap.  This evening, one of the kids will be doing homework at the table in the library, and the other will be doing homework either at the coffee table in the family room, or at the dining table. 

I have a lot to do today (class site stuff, since I'm recovering from a CFS flare).  I have a lot to do tomorrow (groceries, cleaning, and working on the old house). 

I'm pretty sure, chronic illness permitting, I can actually accomplish what I need to get done.  I'm lacking the distraction of having to stop what I'm doing to prevent the kids from further breaking the house,* or fighting with each other. 

Now, I just need to get to it.

I think I need more coffee.


*The imp and pixie managed to snap off one of the arms of her ceiling fan.  Not the fin.  The metal part of the arm.  Which will necessitate full replacement...which they are required to pay for.  I won't, however, require that they pay for the electrician needed to put it up in a house built in 1970, and which lacks boxes for the ceiling fixtures. 

Mr. President:

I live in a small town in the very middle of the country.  I have a nasty allergy to wheat.  Most of the stores in my region do not carry food that I can eat, and I totally lack the time and energy to make everything from scratch.  I also lack the knowledge, ingredients, and equipment to make other things. 

Amazon is how I get my hands on some of the things I can eat.  They are things either not carried throughout the region, or are things priced so high I simply can't afford them so that whether I can eat them or not is a moot point. 

I also have problems with the joints in my hands that make writing with a ballpoint pen--or even a gel pen--painfully impossible.  I've found that fountain pens are my best bet.  There is one store--ONE--in the region that carries fountain pens that are not also calligraphy pens.  And they're priced high and use tiny, useless cartridges.  The store doesn't carry bottled ink, nor yet converters for these pens. 

Again, I turn to Amazon to fill these needs. 

My local bookstore does not carry most of the authors who I like to read without having to order in their work--political correctness precludes some, and the rest are independent authors who publish through Amazon. 

Not every store can carry every item, Mr. President.  And not every individual can afford to fill their needs with the few options that are carried...or afford to travel to find the things that they need.

Claiming that Amazon hurts business isn't accurate.  Or, it may be, but it's a limited view. 

Hurting Amazon harms customers like me who MUST shop online instead of locally because of lack of products carried locally. 

Thank you for proving my opinion of you as a shallow, stupid, reckless, narcissistic, greedy asshole accurate. 

Although I'd have been happier to be proved wrong.

Sincerely,

Someone Disappointed to Not Be Disappointed