Thursday, April 21, 2011

Aren’t you just the cutest little smug bug? Yes, you are!

I don't know if this guy is serious or trying to be funny. If he's trying to be funny, he's failing. Badly. What he's succeeding at is being offensively sexist to a person who doesn't typically notice sexism. His comments on female membership in the NRA (specifically, why women aren't a visible chunk of the NRA's membership) are sexist, misogynistic, and explains why he's probably still asking his mom to explain to him why he's still single while she cleans his apartment in her basement.

I am a gun owner. I am a gun enthusiast. I am a woman. I am a wife. I am a mother. Oddly enough, I'm also a college English professor.

Here are some money quotes from sexist dude:

But it seems that many preconceived notions must be overcome before the National Rifle Association attracts more women to its annual convention. Right now, it's about as popular among women as fly fishing competitions, cigar tasting events and public executions.

Hello, sexist dude—just because something may not be popular with most women doesn't mean that all women don't like that something. Next thing I know, you'll be commenting on how all women would rather have a day at the spa than at the range! Oh, wait: you did.

Its offerings at the David L. Lawrence Convention Center will include a ladies-only seminar teaching them how to become pistol instructors.

To most women, such a seminar probably wouldn't have the same appeal as, say, a holistic facial at the day spa. But providing people with relaxed, radiant faces isn't part of the NRA's mission.


  • Spending several hundred dollars on a serviceable handgun might leave them without enough money to get the full treatment at that next visit to the day spa.

Personally, spending a day at the range does leave me with a relaxed and radiant (if dirty) face. I have never been to a spa, and I am not trusting enough to allow a stranger to put their hands all over me while I'm vulnerable, so I likely will never go to a spa, either. Not my thing. I'd rather spend that money on ammo and go meditate to the sound of a .45 punching many holes very close together in the middle of an eight inch circle.

And if a woman is spending a day at the spa to find a man, she's looking at the wrong place. She'd be more likely to find one that wouldn't spend more time in the morning getting ready than she does if she looked at the range.

  • Carrying a gun in a small purse would leave less room for more important items, such as lipstick or compact.

I have room in my purse for a change of clothes for each of the kids, diapers, wipes, snacks, wallet, checkbooks, etc. I do have a dedicated pocket for my gun, when I have to carry it in my purse, but I'd far prefer to carry concealed on my actual person. Purses can be snatched (though an army surplus multi-purpose digicam courier bag repurposed into a diaper bag is less likely to be). If I were to carry a small purse, I'd have to also carry a diaper bag, and futzing with both bags would make me more vulnerable to having the smaller one (the purse) yanked out of my hands. If my gun is in my purse, my attacker would have it. If it's on my person, it's a) not taking up room in my purse, and b) available to keep said attacker from taking my lipstick compact spare magazine and wallet.

  • The baggy clothing required to successfully conceal most holsters would make them appear frumpy.

Actually, the best concealment I've found is a pair of well-fitting blue jeans, a tank top, and a blazer, with the holster tucked down the waistband. The way I carry, I don't look frumpy—I look classy—and no one is ever going to know I'm carrying unless, like me, they can add line of clothes + way individual is walking + keeping their dominant hand free + not letting suspicious characters get behind them and come up with "there's a gun there." Not without patting me down looking for it. (And if someone is patting me down looking for a gun, they'd better be arresting me.)

  • Gunpowder residue might stain the new Karen Scott blouse they just bought at Macy's.

Gunpowder residue doesn't stain. Duh. If he had ever fired a gun, and/or done his own laundry, he'd know that.

  • The gunpowder smell when the weapon is fired could totally overwhelm the Chanel they're wearing.

If a woman is wearing Chanel, they're trying to impress other women. Or metrosexuals who probably use even more expensive fragrance, so wouldn't be impressed by Chanel, anyway. No, gunpowder and Hoppe's No. 9 is a far more potent man bait than the most expensive perfume.

  • Most firearm accessories come only in one boring color: black.

What is he, stupid? Black goes with everything. No, give me a plain black gun over shiny stainless with pearl grips any day. And don't even get me started about the accessorizing that can be done by changing 1911 grips.

  • Target practice earplugs simply aren't sexy.

Neither is being a rape victim. (Personally, my other half finds me taking the time to learn to protect myself quite sexy.)

I could go into just why this guy must be so stupid because he's a man, but I like men in general, and don't want to insult them by implying that he is one.


  1. My sister has all of my Dad's

    For a long time she kept them them unloaded and locked away.

    I kept bugging her about how useless guns are at home if they are locked up.

    I finally won my case and she keeps a loaded pistol at her bed side.

  2. Thank you -- you've made my day.

    I find women with your approach to life far more interesting - and sexy - than the fluff this guy seems to think women are.


  3. "Can't tell if trolling, or just very stupid."

    That's the two possible explanations for this guy's diatribe. Either he thinks he's being so "edgy" and "clever" by masking his disdain for guns in his imagining of what a 1950s-protectionist-of-women attitude would be, or he's almost stupid enough to forget to stop breathing.

    I dunno. I guess I'm going to go with the "attempt at humor but just done so badly and stupidly that it comes off as patronizing." It's not subtle enough to be good satire.

    Also: guns do come in colors other than black. My brother recently bought a rifle with a wooden stock that's a hideous orange-and-brown flame design. (Normally, he has better taste, so I'm kind of surprised.)

  4. I wonder if you can actually physically feel it when you are getting fisked from sea to shining sea?

  5. I'd guess it probably involves a very sick, fuzzy thing inside and your brain going "They can't be doing this to ME!?!"

  6. I've been a NRA member for over 20 years and I've never attended an annual convention. I bet the reason many women members don't attend is the same reason I've never attended one...I just don't want to. I would rather attend a gun show in Kansas City where there are almost as many women as men attending.

    Eric Hey is either trying to be funny or he's a first class jerkwad.