A matter of taste

Music is, I know, in the ear of the listener, but I have got to gripe about a few bands.  Bands that, I believe, should not be played at all on the stations I listen to.  Those are Green Day, Chevelle, and Limp Bizkit (sp?  Fred Durst was a self-important moron that purposely spelled the word wrong). 

Green Day...I listened to protest music written in the '60's all through my childhood.  Also listened to the roots of punk, and listened to punk.  That was quality music, even when I disagreed with the message. 

Green Day...Green Day isn't punk.  It isn't rock.  It isn't anything but a spoiled brat either whining or screaming protest lyrics into a microphone to a background of something resembling the dregs of punk crossed with standard Christian "rock" music's quality.  I know they're capable of actual music.  There's one of their songs I actually like, because it shows the talent that I was certain they lacked entirely. 

Chevelle...whining, navel-gazing shit.  Their instrumentals are decent, but they need to shoot their lead singer from a canon.  Same with their lyricist, if it's not the same person. 

Limp...whatever.  Yeah, Fred Durst is a whiny-sounding bastard that thinks he's tough.  He's a wanna-be at best, and has no talent at rapping.  The whining...dear God, it didn't used to bother me as much as it has since I had children.  He literally whines worse than both of my kids put together, and I want to slap the words right out of his mouth when I hear him come on the radio. 

He covered, at one point, "Behind Blue Eyes."  He did a really good job with it--his interpretation of the melody and lyrics were well done.  Still whiny, but well done.  He is at least minimally capable of repressing the whiny nature of his voice--I don't know why he thought it suited rap. 

None of this shit belongs on the same stations that play actual music.  I think they'd fit right in on the top 40 pop stations. 

And I wouldn't have to turn my radio off so often to avoid the irritation.

Misses a lot...

1. Manufacturer price does not include shipping, delivery, inventory, staff costs, etc., which the hospital still has to pay.

2. Medicare pays about 60%, and Medicaid maybe 40% of the hospital's cost, not their asking price. And the hospital isn't permitted to deny service to those who can't pay even that much.

3. Those of us who are either responsible enough to budget for medical care (doable for most, even on minimum wage, with a bit of prioritizing needs over wants), or lucky enough to have a job that has decent health care insurance, are stuck footing the bills for everyone else.

Halfway done...

Fall semester for the 2017 Academic Year is halfway done: last week was week eight of sixteen (I don't count finals week, since I'll not be on campus, just accepting late work by email during the two hour block set aside for final exams*).

So, hitting the midpoint of semester means turning in midterm grades.  As requested by my Comp 2 classes, I turned theirs in first, before I graded their second paper. I need to get my Comp 1 class's blogs graded, and revisions that were turned in graded...and papers that were turned in to the wrong slot in BB graded.  Then, I can turn in their midterms.

But first...another pot of coffee is absolutely called for.

*Idiot university president decided that all classes must do something graded for final exam time.  Even the skills classes for which you cannot actually devise an exam.

Stupid blogger.

I actually was starting a post.  Didn't have even the title done.  And the stupid platform assumes I hit the publish button. 

And that's on top of the job of re-creating the blog roll...something I don't have time to do right now, considering I've got to turn in midterms for Comp 2 before I get stuck into grading papers, grade Comp 1 blogs *then* turn in midterms, then grade two Comp 2 classes' worth of papers. 

And in two more weeks, I'll have all three classes having a paper due. 

I think I'm going to have to wait on trying to fix what Blogger's screwed up. 

It's raining.

Dark.  Cloudy.  There's a cool front going to hit around lunchtime. 

The pixie has a field trip to the pumpkin patch. 

It was difficult to get the kids out the door into the rain, and difficult to get them out of the car to go to school.  Hell, it was difficult for me to persuade myself to get out to the car, then out of the car into my building!  I don't like the wet.

And, to compound the day, I've got papers coming in, and Comp 1 blogs to grade.

I also want to write, but that's going to have to be put on hold (though I'm up to 11K words on part 2, with probably 25K to go). 

At least I've got a full cup of coffee, and some music to grade with. 

Best get on it, then.  Even if I'd rather be curled up sleeping.

Back to work!

I've been trying to get back into writing, recently.  Listening to my inspiration for The Schrodinger Paradox.  Reading and editing the stuff I'd had done.  Working long-hand.  I'm working on transcribing stuff tonight, tomorrow, and probably every spare minute through Thursday.  I've got most of it plotted out in my head.  I know where it's going, and I know why it's going there.  And I'm hoping to finish part 2 this month.  I'd like to finish the book in its entirety (part 2, 3, and an epilogue) by the end of the kids' fall semester. 

After that?  I've got half a dozen stories I need to transcribe out of my draft book I carry in my purse for random ideas.  I've got random stories that will go into a collection, and a few that will go into my Modern Gods world, somewhere.  I've got two more book ideas started (a veteran addicted to drugs getting rescuing kids orphaned by a hurricane and getting clean, and a vampire investments agent who recruits a P.I. roommate to help her out during daylight hours), and another two ideas percolating in the back of my head. 

Honestly, where the Modern Gods world is concerned, I've got only one more overarching plot tying a bunch of stories together type novel, for now.  I could be wrong, but I think that's it.  Kinda makes me sad, because those have been some of my favorite characters to work with. 

Any case, I think I've sort of hit my stride with doing three classes.  I don't feel so overwhelmed with the workload, now.  I think I've got things arranged to where I'll only be on campus two days a week, next semester, with three classes in the mornings, and office hours in the afternoon.  I've done some writing in office hours, but not that much.  Usually, my morning office hours are spent downing the coffee I didn't have time to drink before sitting down in the office.  And catching up on paperwork for classes and email.  And grading. 

Oh, dear God, the grading...

But it does feel good to write again.  Relieves a mental/emotional pressure that I'm often not aware is building until after something gives way. 

Now, there's a brilliant plan.

So.  ISIS is calling for knife attacks.  In America. 

THAT...that is a BRILLIANT idea.  Especially in the center of the country, and throughout the South. 

I LOVE the idea of terrorists bringing a knife to what ends up a gun fight! 

It sucks.

It sucks big time. 

"What sucks?" you may ask.

Simple.  You have students that you KNOW are plagiarizing.  You have students who can barely compose a comprehensible email (reads like it was written in their native language and put through Google Translate, including the email the paper was attached to), can't comprehend English, and turn in a paper that's an A.  You KNOW they didn't write it.  They aren't CAPABLE of writing it. 

But...prove it.  Prove it, or be called racist and fired. 

I'm not an ESL teacher.  And an ESL teacher is not going to be able to help a student turn something like that out without writing it for them.  Not in four weeks.

It sucks. 

Feeling hopeful

But only a little.

I've got a doctor's appointment today.  I'm hoping that she's going to be willing to listen to me, but not really expecting a whole lot considering. 

I'm hopeful that eventually I can increase my endurance to sustain a low level of activity so that I can get everything that needs to be done, done.  Right now, I have high and low energy points.  High energy for me is most people's dragging exhaustion.  I can do things for ten or fifteen minutes, then I have to stop for half an hour or longer. 

Today, I sorted two baskets of clothes, unloaded the dryer (towels and bathrobes, all dropped on the end of the bed), and gathered dirty clothes to start reloading the washer.  Took maybe fifteen minutes to do, an hour to recover from.  Same with gathering up a trash bag of graded kid worksheets, missed wrappers, and stuff from the living room coffee table and floor: ten minutes to do, and I'm still not feeling energy coming back after half an hour of sitting.  I'm actually blogging so I don't go to sleep.  No, moar coffee doesn't help anything but the emotional side of things.  Yes, I'm sleeping eight hours almost every night (last night was the only exception this week, and was caused by a sinus headache that wouldn't let me go to sleep).  That's a bit under 2/3 of my to-do list for today.

Honestly, that's more than I was expecting to get done.  Less than what I was hoping for, but more than I was expecting.

I've felt worse than this for a very, very long time, but kept pushing.  Kept going.  Because what choice did I have?  This is the closest to normal I've felt in about eight and a half years.  And it's still not what "normal" is for most, and isn't what my "normal" used to be.

At this point, I'm hoping for "better" but will settle for "good enough." 

As long as "good enough" is by my definitions, not theirs.

*headdesk*

Two weeks ago:

Student S: I don't understand.  What is annotated?  what is bibliography?

I get it.  I do.  The title of the assignment--annotated bibliography--is scary, but it's really stupid easy.  So, I walk the student (who doesn't understand spoken English well) through how to do it. 

Last week:

Student S: I don't understand.  What is it I am to do for this assignment?

It's the annotated bibliography.  You put together the bibliography, and summarize the sources in six lines or less.  Basically, it goes source, summary, source, summary until you're done.

It was due Friday at midnight.

Today:

Student S: I did not understand.  I did not turn it in.  I am not sure it was correct.  I will bring it on Friday.

No.  Just...no.  It was due last Friday.  It was 15 points of credit/no credit.  It didn't have to be perfect--I did give feedback on what they didn't do right, when they needed me to do it.  Everyone that turned it in got credit.  I DO NOT TAKE late work. 

Can we re-institute a rule that tests the spoken/written comprehension of a non-native English speaker before permitting them to take UNIVERSITY classes?  Please?  I'm getting REALLY DAMN TIRED of this shit.

Especially with Saudi males.  And especially in September.

Okay. New doctor it is.

I was willing to listen.  I was willing to give a fair second chance to the endocrinology practice that had already blew it once.*

Yeah, no.

I had the appointment last week.  Last Wednesday.  The doctor, a man from India, decided that I was no more than a half-wit, and treated me as such.**  Implied that I didn't take my meds often.  Told me that I needed to do the things I was already doing, and told me to do them after I'd told him that they were things I already did.  As if I were lying to him.  I asked him to check my T3 to make sure I was metabolizing the levothyroxine properly, and he refused, and told me that I'd metabolize the T4 (levothyroxine) into the amount of T3 I needed, if I just took the medicine properly. 

I don't miss doses.  I've done that once, since I did it on doctors' orders.  Never again.  I'm more likely to double up now, than to miss a dose.  I'm pretty sure I'd doubled up the day of the visit, and told him that before he sent me down to get blood work done.

Today, he had his nurse call and tell me to take half a dose one day a week.

Really. 

Really?

Really.

I double dosed the day he told me to get my blood levels checked.  And it was a little high but not much.  And he wants me to do a half dose one day a week. 

I can either choose to comply, in the hopes that maybe he'll listen to me, or I can refuse to comply and ask for a new doctor. 

So.  If I choose to comply, which day should I choose to be a non-function halfwit, rather than a half-functioning person who can think almost well enough to do her job?  Because that is the choice I'm facing.

Yeah, I don't think so.  I'm just trying to decide whether to find a new GP or give the endocrinology practice a third chance by asking for a different doctor.




*When I fell pregnant with the pixie, the blood tests were so low in thyroid hormone that they sent me back three times to run the test again, then tried to get me an appointment with the only endocrinology practice in the area.  They said they wouldn't see me until late November (it was early May).  The pixie was due in January, and born in December.  I did research and found that waiting would have been heavily detrimental to her development, and had the labs sent to my GP.  She put me on a low dose that was adequate to save the pixie a painful childhood, at the very least.  

**I've had male doctors from India before.  Without exception, they have treated me this way.  I don't know if it's because that's just the way they are, or if it's institutionalized sexism, but it's unacceptable either way. 

FFOT post

In order of when they pissed me off:

Microsoft Word can fuck off.  It shat the bed and deleted, with no recovery, two nearly-finished course schedules, this morning.  I had to start over during my office hours, and hand write out the schedules of due dates for my comp 1 and comp 2 classes, just to make sure this did not happen again.

Other parents of kindergarteners in the school that the pixie goes to.  The children's kindergarten teacher should NOT have to remind parents to FUCKING FEED THE FUCKING CHILDREN BEFORE FUCKING DUMPING THEM IN THE FUCKING SCHOOL!!!! What kind of LAZY FUCKING FUCKS doesn't even FEED THEIR FUCKING KIDS FUCKING BREAKFAST???

Bicycle riders can definitely fuck off.  They can fuck off with their handlebars held perpendicular to their anus when they FUCKING FORGET that they ALSO FUCKING HAVE TO FUCKING STOP AT GODDAMNED STOP SIGNS.  I FUCKING HAD THE RIGHT AWAY, YOU RANCID TWATSTAIN!!!  Do NOT scream at me with both middle fingers extended because YOU ran the FUCKING STOP SIGN, and vegetation and other vehicles blocked my view of you until AFTER YOU'D RUN THE FUCKING STOPSIGN!!!  May you try that with a city dump truck, because THAT'S THE ONLY FUCKING THING THAT WOULDN'T BE FUCKING TOTALED BY HITTING YOUR GINORMOUS ASS.

Hotmail can fuck off, too.  Changing the privacy and end user agreements should NOT BE CAUSE TO FUCKING GO OFFLINE FOR THE ENTIRE FUCKING AFTERNOON.

Your turn.  Sound off, and have a good Labor Day Weekend.

Running my legs off, here.

I am really sorry about not being able to get anything written, lately.  I've been too busy to think, and not all the way back up to human (though closer to it than I have been in years).  What my weeks look like are as follows:

6:00--roll out of bed, boot the dog out, get the kids up and dressed
6:10--get food in front of the kids
6:20--finish packing lunches, go get dressed
6:25--get the dog fed, get my breakfast ready
6:30--boot the dog back out, sit down to eat, check and answer email
7:00--chase the kids around to get shoes on, hair and teeth brushed, backpacks and lunches collected
7:20--out the door

On MWF, I have from about 7:30 to 1:00 in my classroom, with classes stretching from 10-1:00.  On TTh, I do what shopping is needed, and run the errands that need run, then work on what housework I have the energy for (today's laundry, dishes, and straightening the living room). 

2:45--grab snacks, leave to get kids
3:20--coerce the kids through their homework
4:00--start thinking about supper
4:30--feed the kids
5:00--feed the husband (and me)
6:00--clean up/pick up time
6:30--bath time
7:00--bed time for the kids

I have not had time to think about anything other than the next thing on the list for the past few weeks.  When I settle into more of an autopilot routine, I'll try to blog more. 

Yesterday...

Yesterday was the first day of the new school year for the imp (1st grade) and pixie (all-day kindergarten).  I had them out from under foot from just after eight until just after three.  And the imp was incredible, yesterday.  His teacher actually sent us a message praising his behavior.  

I finally finished my textbooks' first drafts.  For the most part.  The last paper's chapter is still incomplete in the Comp 2 book, because I can't find a good resource to learn science writing citation from. 

And with that, I started to sign into my class site to start setting up for the semester...and our house abruptly lost electricity.  I waited for an hour and a half, then headed into the university--without power, we have no phone, and my cell phone's so flat it took about half a minute for the screen to start showing that it was charging, when I started charging it just now.

I pulled up the electric company's website to go about reporting an outage, and found out they already knew: 3850 people were out, by the company's count, in the northern part of the city I live in, and the bedroom community to the northeast of us. 

They didn't get it brought back up until after 2:30.

I didn't get much done beyond double-checking my classroom to make certain it was ready for Monday.

Thankfully, the kids' school wasn't affected.  It was four miles south of where the area of no power ended. 

The pixie was tired and whiny when I picked them up.  She was tired and her feet hurt.  I don't really blame her--it's rough going a long day when she's used to a two hour block of time where she's expected to be still and quiet, even if she doesn't sleep. 

The imp...the imp didn't come to the pick-up point.  Older sibs are supposed to be picked up with younger ones, at the younger sibs' pickup point, at their school.  The supervising teacher had to go get him. 

We'll see how pick up goes today.

If wishes were fishes...

...we'd all cast nets.

I recently read that one study decided that non-Celiac gluten intolerance is a psycho-somatic thing.  That anyone who said they couldn't tolerate gluten-containing food couldn't tell the difference in gluten and gluten-free products. 

Lots of them can't. 

I'm not one of them.  I'm not gluten-intolerant.  I can eat rye just fine.  It's wheat that's the problem.  All stages and forms.

No, it doesn't cause a standard histamine allergic response.  If it did, I'd just take an antihistamine before eating whatever I wanted.   Instead, I have gut cramps that start within ten minutes of eating something with wheat grass or wheat flour.  Things like Gluten-Ease help some, but not me. 

I wish it were otherwise.

I miss pizza.  Real pizza, with real crust.  Tortillas.  I can do with or without bread, but the gluten free buns for hot dogs and hamburgers...they're awful, and fall apart with the application of any kind of condiment. 

Gluten free pizza...yeah, it exists.  Yeah, you can find some in some pizza places, but the frozen stuff is mostly just enough to be a disappointment.

Gluten-free tortillas are either horrible in texture, fall apart, or they just don't taste right. 

I wish it were psychosomatic.  The fact that I am willing to eat this stuff to not have to deal with the after-effects of eating the things I miss eating should prove that it's not.

Progress

I finished up with the first draft of the Comp 1 text about half an hour ago, as I start this.  I put in a formal email to professors assignment, an assignment discussing spin and how it's created, a research paper, six or eight weeks of blogging, and an opinion essay.  Practical things that will build a foundation for them...assuming they don't just drop the class after they get a look at the course schedule and the textbook.  Tomorrow, I'll work on the Comp 2 text.  I figure if I graft together the persuasive writing text I wrote for previous years, and the researching across the curriculum text I was working on while I was impaired, I'll have a fairly decent resource for my students next semester. 

I had to keep the kids separated, today.  The imp was being as irritating as he knew how to be, and provoked the pixie into biting him.  I heard her asking him to stop whatever irritating thing he was doing multiple times, and then I heard him: "Ow, ow, ow, stop that, [Pixie]!" 

Yeah, they both got into trouble.  Imp more than pixie. 

While I had each confined to their own rooms, I knocked out most of my day's housework to do list.  I didn't get the kitchen floor swept, or the living room vacuumed, but I got the rest of everything mostly done.  There's still a lot to do before I get the house to mostly maintenance cleaning, but I'm focusing a whole lot more on the public areas, and I think I can finish those up the two days at the end of next week where I don't have the kids underfoot for seven and a half hours.  I may even get the master bedroom mostly decluttered, assuming I can knock the feeling like I'm coming down with the flu (again) without respiratory symptoms (again) back before it hits too hard. 

As 'tis, I do believe I'm done for the day.  I'll see what I can get done tomorrow.

Not much longer...

I took the pixie to get her kindergarten booster shots this morning.  She did great--just wailed and cried, didn't fight at all, despite getting two pokes in each arm.  Next Tuesday is back to school night, where we can take their supplies in to the classrooms.  And then next Thursday is back to school.  I'll have next Thursday and next Friday all to myself from just after 7:30 until just after 3:05. 

The Monday after they start back, I do.  I'm damn near done with my textbook for Comp 1.  I had to nearly totally rewrite it for what I want to do.  I still need to modify the Comp 2 book, but that should be a matter of copy/paste grafting bits together. 

I should be done with my texts long before I start back, thank goodness.  Then, I can focus on getting the house cleaned up to the point that it's just maintenance keeping it that way. 

I am still trying to work the FlyLady stuff, but there are times when I'm down for a week or more and can't get stuff done.  It really doesn't help that when I do get to feeling up to cleaning, I've got two little ones following along behind me, "helping," and more often than not undoing any progress I've made.

I'll have two days next week to work without help.  And then we can focus on maintenance cleaning, and I can teach the kids now what I wish I'd learned a lot sooner than I did: how to keep it that way.

Accomplishments.

I has several, as of today.

It just doesn't feel like it.

We got the school shopping for the kids (mostly) done today.  The pixie still needs some dresses, but she's got some polos and skirts, and enough dresses that are still barely long enough that they'll work.  She's not quite six, and comes up to mid-chest on me. 

I got the clean dishes put away, and the dishwasher reloaded and run. 

My comp 1 textbook is one revised assignment, and one new assignment, from done. 

The living room is a disaster.  Most of the kitchen (other than the dishes) is, too. 

The weather is partially, but not totally, at fault, today.  The pressure (and the temperature) plummeted.  Yesterday was mid nineties with a heat index of around 112 degrees.  Today was 81 degrees with rain all day.  My hands and knees hurt. 

It's not all.  I've discovered that Hashimoto's Thyroidits is an auto-immune disorder, with all of the lovely issues that that includes.  Including flare ups that involve feeling like I have a version of the flu without the respiratory issues, and major, body-wide inflammation. 

Still.  I need to focus on the positive: the kids and animals are fed, comfortable, and relatively happy.  Yeah, I need to pick up and continue decluttering (and vacuuming, sweeping, and mopping), but the floor isn't layered like it was when I was at my worst.  The kitchen needs decluttered, flat surfaces cleared, and cast iron that isn't being currently used put away, but the sink's empty.  Yeah, the textbooks need to be finished, but I have a plan for doing that, and I'm almost done with the Comp 1 textbook (and tentative plans for the class are coming together). 

I'm exhausted and sore, but far from defeated.  I'm gonna beat this. 

I don't have any "give up" in me.

New ideas in teaching writing

Last semester sucked.  I really shouldn't have tried what I did while I was disabled upstairs.  Trying to do multiple research papers and styles while I couldn't think straight...well, it wasn't an unmitigated disaster, but it was damned close.

I have a better idea how to do it, and do it right, this semester.  I'll go ahead and teach the four styles of argument (definition, causal, evaluation, proposal), but I'll match them up with the styles (Chicago style, Council of Science Editors, Modern Language Association/MLA, and American Psychological Association, or APA).  Pretty sure science would be best matched with causal, and Chicago style (journalism) would be best matched with either a definition or the evaluation (in the form of a movie review).  If you've got ideas, feel free to let me know in the comments.

The main point is this: English and foreign languages are the only majors that use the MLA format beyond basic core classes.  Why is that the only style English departments are teaching?  Neither the CMS nor the CSE styles are remotely similar in anything but the bibliography.  APA is pretty similar, but for the use of copyright dates in the in-text citations.  But even APA isn't more than just glossed over.

I have most of the parts of my textbook done, I just have to assemble it correctly.

And this semester, this fall semester, I have arranged to teach two comp 2 courses...and one comp 1.  I got an email from the new department head asking me to take an extra section.  On the one hand, that's a nice little extra in the income.  On the other...that's an extra two dozen papers to grade every few weeks, and an extra number of office hours.  I think my requirements will be up to 7.5 hours on campus (2.5 office hours per class taught).  So, two hours in the morning every day I'm on campus, and half an hour after classes.  Or maybe an extra 25 minutes in the morning before classes...I'll have to think about that.

And...I haven't taught Comp 1 in about six years.  I need to redo my book.  I'm honestly thinking of two papers plus a lot of other little assignments to add up to about 5,500 words that I grade (one is going to be a unit on how to email a teacher...probably the first one).  I'm planning six weeks of blogging while I do an intro to research unit, and a unit on spin and how it's done (gotta get them suspicious of politics and advertisers before November...).  I may do a unit on how to put together a powerpoint presentation, since I don't think anyone else really does that.

(Yes, I'm sort of thinking out loud, here.)

If anyone has any suggestions on what else they think I should do, feel free to chime in.

This semester...yeah, it's gonna be rough.

Our adorable little Scotty-dog

Don't mind the mess in the kitchen, please.  I'm still working on it.