I drink my whiskey straight, y'all.

At most, I might add ice or water. 

Today, I bought a bottle of Wild Turkey American Honey (which I discovered recently that I like best in my toddy recipe).  It came with a little cardboard box slung around its neck, holding a teeny little bottle of what it called "flavor booster"--in caramel.  It's about the size of a Tobasco sauce bottle that comes with the MREs. 

I saw that, and I thought about a former student of mine.  Since he's now either graduated or ineligible to play sports anymore, I can tell you a little bit about him.  Tall, cute, funny, irreverent--a momma's boy, but also a stereotypical drunken frat boy.  Posted pictures of himself on his social media page, and every picture had him holding a red Solo cup of beer. 

And then, one morning after class, he told me that there was going to be another party, and that I should come.  I reminded him that I was married, and he said "With as cool as you are, you should bring your husband, too--I bet he'd be awesome."

Yes, he is, but neither Odysseus nor I are particularly  into drunken house parties.  Drunken redneck  bonfire parties, on the other hand...but then again, the booze is better. 

I thanked him for the thought, but then told him that I absolutely didn't care for beer.  At all.  Neither taste nor smell--especially not the smell, and especially not the cheap stuff.  His face fell, and he says, "Aw, that's too bad.  I didn't know you didn't drink."

I smiled.  "No.  I don't drink beer.  Bourbon, Scotch, or Irish whiskey, by preference, and neat.  Or with a very little bit of water or ice." 

His jaw dropped.  "Wow, I don't know anybody that drinks the hard stuff!"

Well, he wandered off after that (and after ogling my boobs a bit more).  He was back on Monday, with very dark, mirrored sunglasses, and kind of green.  Still.  Despite the party having been on Friday night.  "Mrs. H, you are way more of a man than I am, no offense.  I tried bourbon.  I tried it by itself, in juice, and in Coke.  I can't drink it.  It's too harsh.  It's way too much for me to handle.  You are bad ass.  I'm still hung over, and I quit drinking Saturday morning."

So, when I saw that teeny-tiny bottle of hard alcohol flavor hider slung onto a bottle of 71 proof honey whiskey, I thought of him, and his complete inability to handle anything that was over about 11% alcohol by volume. 

Because if your honey whiskey's still too strong for you to drink without the extra flavor hider...maybe you need to stick to beer and wine coolers. 

Or Kool-Aid.