Random stuff

We now have adequate insulation in the attic.  There were places we had very little, and one place the guy looking at what we needed said he could see the hall light from in the attic.  

He said that they were swamped, and we were looking at the end of November, unless they got help.  Well, they got the help from a sister store in Arkansas, and the insulation was blown in in about 40 minutes on Friday, two and a half weeks ahead of where I was thinking we'd be.

Now, we have the rafters buried plus about 6" and that same 6"  over the decking they'd put down for storage.  There's none over the garage, but that wasn't really a concern.  I'm just hoping it helps cut both the electric bill and propane usage.  

We also have a new modem, as of last Thursday.*  We've got the wi-fi  password changed on about half the things that it needs changed on--I still need to take care of the printer, my Kindle, and those of both of the kids (both of which need to be charged, first).  So far, things have been working better.  Smoother.  I'd have just gotten a new router and plugged it into the hard line part of the modem, but that was the first thing to go, six years ago.  

Other than that...I've decided I kinda sorta need to break down and acquire a smartphone.  It's going to be kept battery-dead and/or left home most of the time, but I have to have one if I'm going to use Sam's Club's curb-side pickup.  I wish they'd have posted a phone number like Walmart did, but they didn't.  

I wouldn't bother with it, but my personal energy budget sort of requires it.  I've been having issues with my energy, to the point that shopping, if it's not curbside pickup, is all I can do on the days I do  it.  And I can't afford that: I have a house, pets, kids, and a husband to take care of.  

I'm trying to finish Having a Pint this month.  I've got it around half finished in first-draft form, something like nearly 34K words.  I'm still plugging away.  I'd have a lot more done, but I spent half of last week in severe pain because of mild diverticulitis (runs in my family, and I know what to do when it hits), and the other half recovering and managing the modem replacement and the insulation installation. So, it is moving along, but slow going because I was only barely functional last week.  I should do much better this week.  I'm planning to also do better the next week, considering I don't have to shuttle the kids around twice per day, and I have headphones.  

Once I'm done with the first draft of Having a Pint, I have another piece I'm going to be working on--The Schrodinger Paradox. That one is about 2/3 finished in first-draft form, and I know where it's going and how it's going to get there.  It's just going to take a while of actually writing to finish it. 

*We had the old modem from...I think 2007 or 2008, so, it was nearing the end of its functional life anyway.

Life happens.

Last week, the kids' Christmas Break ended (on Tuesday--the teachers' break ended on Monday).  The kids had a four day week, last week, and I got quite a bit actually done that I hadn't managed to get done while they were off (Mom-ing is a full-time job, especially when the weather's awful, and the kids are stuck inside, and leaves no energy of any type for anything else). 

Sunday, I made chili, and had the imp's godfather, and the godfather's new girlfriend over for supper.  She's very sweet, but I really think it's not going to work, long term.  The imp's godfather is a conservative leaning libertarian Christian, and the girlfriend is a hard-left leaning pagan feminist that's so open minded she's in danger of losing her brain.  The cats and kids liked her, and liked her kids, so she's not totally a lost cause, but...yeah.

And Sunday through Monday...it snowed.  A lot.  We got an inch or so on Sunday, then four and a half more on Monday.  And school was cancelled on Monday, and the local PD declared emergency road conditions (rightly--the salt trucks and plows couldn't stay on the road).  And through the course of the day on Monday, the temperatures plummeted. 

Monday night into Tuesday, it got down below zero.  We broke a long-held record for low temperatures.  Tuesday, we also broke a long-held record for coldest high temperature (mid single digits).  And local schools remained cancelled, but I had hopes for school being in session on Wednesday, so cut off the imp's TV viewing, and sent him off to play after lunch. 

I got them both chased through the shower and put to bed on school night time, and then collapsed.  Checked my email.  Cussed.  Because school was cancelled for Wednesday, and they announced it while I was chasing the kids through bedtime routines. 

So, yesterday morning, I was trying to sleep in a bit, whilst Odysseus was getting ready for work, and Odysseus uttered an expression of shocked dismay. 

Our hot water had frozen overnight. 

Finally got that thawed around a quarter to 11:00 yesterday morning, then realized I was hearing water running under the house. 

I don't know where the house shutoff valve is, assuming we have one, but I do know where the breaker box and well breaker is.  Flipped that off, and have been trying to avoid needing to use the bathroom. 

The plumber is supposed to get to us sometime today. 

Needless to say, I've gotten very little done this week.  Life has very much happened, and continues to happen.  And all of this has been going on while the weather has my joints hurting enough that I'm dreaming in shades of more and less pain in my hands, knees, ankles, hips, and (as of last night) one shoulder.

I'm about ready to give up and do my best to get drunk tonight (after the plumber has been here and fixed our water issues).  Works better for pain management than most of my other options.

Realizations

So, since I am finishing out my final few weeks of my last semester, I've come to a few realizations.  Realization the first: I am sick of academia.  Last week, there was a Hijab Day on campus.  The Muslim Student Association hosted a series of presentations lying about what the function of the garment was for the culture, and how it was a choice to wear it.  They also had scarves and Muslim girls to teach the Western girls how to wear them, and selfie booths.  They complained, the day after, about how few people bought their bullshit were interested in what they had to say/try on the mark of being considered subhuman. 

I also have to walk on eggshells grading the papers of minorities, or trying to get anyone to question their assumptions (or even admit that there are unstated assumptions underlying claims that may make them absolutely the opposite of persuasive to those who do not share those assumptions). 

I am, and have been, sick of the atmosphere on campus for years, now.  I'm sure that the Soviet Union was worse, but only because they'd actually kill you for holding a dissenting opinion (though I'm sure Berkley would like to head in that direction). 

Realization the second: my Office suite comes to me through the university.  I may have to either switch to Open Office, despite not liking it nearly as well, or hope that I can continue using it for a while.  Because I can't buy a copy right now. 

Realization the third: One of the reasons I've not been writing is that I simply didn't have the energy, mental, emotional, or spiritual, to write.  The other is that I was so damn miserable that I was reading instead of writing, retreating into places other than the one I was in.  Part of that was the awful health problems (not resolved, but mitigated, and managed to the extent they could be), part was the horrid neighbors that moved in next door in '15, and part was dreading going back at the start of each semester.

Realization the fourth: Teaching takes a lot more out of me than I thought it did.  I'm capable of doing a lot more if I am not also in front of a classroom for six hours a week, interacting with students.  I don't know if it's the social interaction draining me, or if it's the way I teach (active, all over the classroom, and hanging over shoulders during group and individual worktime, monitoring how my students are doing and offering suggestions and help). 

Realization the fifth: I can be writing a LOT with it set as my fulltime "job."  I can do around 1500 words per hour.  If the story's coming well, I can do somewhere around 4-6K words per day, before I'm fried.  And my endurance may climb after a while.  And I've got work enough for a while--I have a LOT of ideas I just haven't had time or energy to develop. 

Random ramblings

The kids continue to be massive little assholes.  Granted, I'm still working on getting a good routine built for them, but it's difficult with trying to do the things I have to do while trying to ride herd on them.  I've taken to chasing them outside and telling them to not tattle to me, and to resolve things themselves.  Most of the time, this resolves by one of them coming in and taking their Kindle Fire to their room, and shutting the door.  Most of the time, that's the pixie. 

The imp has transitioned from riding a bicycle with training wheels to riding without, and then transitioned into a bigger bike that fits him better, and that goes through mowed grass easier than the little bike he had.  And he now has a bell on it, which pleases him immensely. 

The pixie has learned to ride her bike with the training wheels on the room-sized patio just out the back door, with Merry-dog running alongside.  She's starting to want to transition to a bike without training wheels because she can't ride her bike anywhere off the patio. 

Both kids are spending something like 3/4 of their time outside.  Drawing with sidewalk chalk, playing on the patio, running all over the mowed part of the yard and pasture, riding bike (imp) up and down and around the driveway...

And they've made a friend.  There's a little boy--our neighbors to the east have a grandson who's over a lot--who's a LOT like the imp in interests and personality quirks (including ADHD, which is medicated, while imp is off his meds for the summer).  He's over on the weekends a lot, but not a lot during the week days (he's in summer school).  And when they're off playing, I have to CALL them in to eat, because they won't come in when they're hungry. 

The dog needs bathed and shorn.  She needs the Marine Boot Camp cut.  She REFUSES to be an inside dog, especially since she's got that wonderful room outside with a ceiling, cement floor, a ceiling fan, and no walls.  And it's forecast to be a hot one, this summer.  But she hates--HATES--baths and grooming.  I did get her bangs trimmed, and a couple of matted bits cut off of her back fur, but she stayed out of reach after I got those few things done. 

You'd think she'd appreciate the whole "I can see, now," thing, but no. 

Cricket has taken to lounging on the end of the table in the library/living room.  She loves that spot.  Especially when the pixie leaves the desk lamp on, and kitty has a warm spotlight for her fuzzy self. 

Shadow has delighted in the fact that the kids have a hard time getting their bedroom doors to fully latch.  She shoves the door of her choice open, goes in, and sleeps on the child of her choice.

Often, this results in the comical view of a 40 lb 6 year old pixie carrying a 13 lb cat out by her middle because she doesn't want the kitty sleeping on her, but Shadow is not deterred.  She just goes and either shoves the imp's door open (which she prefers, normally, because of his 4' high loft bed) if she can, and cries outside it until he opens it if she can't get it herself. 

We are pulling books out of storage.  We're limited on how many we can bring out, because we just don't have the shelf space.  Yet.  Odysseus is going to be building bookcases after we get everything out of the old place, and get repairs going on it.  We've got almost everything, but still have a bit more to go.

As for the new place, I love the house.  I love the house, the patio, the yard, love the space, the quiet, and the fact that we have six full acres to ourselves, and have so very much to explore. I love that I can shoo the kids out without worrying about the pedophile a block up from the old house anymore, or the nasty white trash kids that moved next door to the old place teaching my kids language and attitudes that would get them in trouble at their Christian school.   I don't care for the ticks, but that can be dealt with a lot easier than the problems at the old place. 

Yes, the house has issues.  It was built in '70, so it's an older house.  The chimney on the fireplace needs work (the liner's rusted, and the dampers are rusted shut), the plumbing drainage needed fully replaced (done), and we've got some roof leaks (flashing around one of the turban vents, and a hole that was plugged with expanding foam both leak during monsoon downpours)...and the garbage disposal has decided to leak through the bottom as of the other day.  The garage doors need replaced (so do the tracks on one), and I need a strap fastened to them so I can reach them to close them when they're up.  Most of this, though, is livable while we wait until the other place sells. 

I am feeling immensely better.  The inflammation has not resolved, so I've still got issues with joint discomfort, but a whole lot of other symptoms have eased or disappeared.  The difference is that the endocrinologist that my primary care doc referred me to put me on a different formulation of thyroid meds.  I'd been on the generic for seven years.*  And I'm now on a name brand specially formulated to be hypoallergenic.  There are four ingredients to it.  And after a couple of weeks on it, my brain fog cleared.  A lot.  Not totally, and if I overdo it even a little, I get nasty brain fog regardless of any other symptoms (but they do tend to come back in full force if I do overdo it). I have a bit higher energy level as a starting point (it's still not back to normal, and likely won't be for a while, yet), but still wear down quickly without being able to build back up without a full night's sleep, and less activity for a few days.   I need 8 full hrs of sleep per night to function instead of 10 hrs.  (I do still need around a half a pot of coffee, regardless.)

All this means I'm keeping up with housework a bit easier, with a little more mental energy left at the end of the day. 

Unfortunately, my laptop seems to be having issues, now.  I'm starting to lean toward a different brand, because this is the second Acer in two years developing hardware issues early.  It needs a new keyboard (half the time, it won't register that I've pressed a key, which makes writing an adventure in misspellings and typos), a new wireless card, and needs the power jack re-soldered, none of which I can do because of the laptop's design.  I'm eyeballing a few different machines.

Odysseus is also looking at new laptops.  He's looking at bigger ones, since he's not hauling it back and forth to college anymore. 

Me?  All I want is a full size keyboard that works reliably. 

In the meantime, I'm getting a LOT of use out of what Odysseus got me for my birthday: a TWSBI piston-fill fountain pen that holds about three weeks' worth of my writing output in ink. 

Anyone know if there's some type of adapter that will let me plug a very old ergonomic keyboard into a new laptop that only has USB ports? 

*And apparently, people with a wheat allergy can react badly to the inactive ingredients in the generic levothyroxine, because some manufacturers use wheat starch to as a binder, and others use something else that people with wheat allergies react to. 

Plans for the day

I think I'm going to plant myself somewhere and refuse to move much today. 

Monday, I ran the kids up to my mom's and left them there.  I went to the old house and started the clutter-clearing on the old master bedroom.  Found five bags' worth of clothes that had been hidden under and behind furniture.  And lots of lost receipts and other things that needed thrown away.  Took probably two hours to do just that much (and stack books).  Then, I had to go get my refilled prescriptions at Sam's Club, since I managed to get them called in too late to get them ordered and filled on Saturday. 

And I somehow managed to wrench my knee before I went.  My bad knee--the one that healed up wrong after years of abuse followed by surgery that cleaned out the scar tissue in the joint, and had me hobbling on a cane every year from age 19 to age 27 (when pregnancy hormones loosened the tendons and ligaments to the point where things straightened themselves out) between September/October and April/May.  So I had to really use the cart at Sam's Club to keep the weight off of it while I filled my 'scrips (which were delivered half an hour later than they'd expected) and got shopping done. 

Yeah, it still aches a bit, but not nearly as bad as it did Monday. 

Yesterday, I guess the discomfort Monday tied my shoulders in knots.  I found one the hard way: I stretched really hard, and wound up with one of the knots on the left side where my neck and shoulder meet cramping to the point I couldn't move my left arm without pain.  I had already arranged for my older sister to come watch the kids so I could go over and work on clearing more out of the old house (two boxes of books, the last bag of clothes, and got my balls of yarn untangled, as well as got five sets of wire shelving cleared out).  And got to the point I couldn't move my left arm even at just the elbow without my shoulder/neck junction screaming at me. 

It's a lot better today--so long as I don't try to lift my arm above my shoulder, the discomfort is at grumble level.  Hell, I can even reach sideways for a Kleenex.  But putting on a shirt didn't feel so good. 

I'm going to try to not hurt myself today.  Tomorrow's a whole 'nother ball-game, though, and there's still more unpacking to do.

WTH, life?

So, we closed on our house a bit under a month ago.  Got the flooring finished last week (the vinyl laminate floor is gorgeous, and will last us for three or four decades, easy), and started moving more than the storage unit. 

Also, last week, we had some nasty, heavy storms.  And haven't spent much time in the house since Thursday, when my family came over to help me with a few things in the new kitchen (linoleum peel-n-stick tiles lining cabinet shelves). Partially because I wore myself out to the point my immune system went down hard.  I got some shopping done, but that was really about it.  Friday afternoon, I went to bed, and kinda stayed there, except for when a tornado warning was posted on the radio for the listening area, and I herded the kids and dog into the bathroom (not the cats--the dog was scared because of the thunder, and the storm was kicking up more to our east than in line to threaten us) until it passed.

Yesterday was pretty rainy.  We did a bit but not a lot on the move (and I was still down).  Odysseus took our imp to watch Guardians of the Galaxy 2.  And took loads of kids' toys over to the new place. 

Today, I felt better, so we packed up our storage cubbies and took them over.  I also packed up sandwiches and chips for everybody, and took lunch over to eat around Odysseus's grandmother's dining room table (which my family helped me set up--a heavy, 4' x 6' dining table with drop leaves running long-ways).  Odysseus took the tea he'd made and killed it, then went to make another pitcher...

...and we abruptly lost water pressure. 

Flipped breakers to pump and to pressure tank. 

Waited.  Went and got some new light fixtures (one we replaced because neither of us cared for it; the other was a pendant light we replaced because Odysseus banged his head on it more than once getting stuff in the front door), and tried the water pressure again. 

Still nothing. 

Crap. 

We have left a message with a local well pump guy, but will also be calling at a civilized time tomorrow morning. 

Heading into the home stretch

I could quote Chaucer about April,* but March was pretty damn rainy, just as April has started out.

I am heading into the home stretch for class.  The fifth, and final paper, will be a sort of a final exam for my students: I'll teach them how to find sources, how to determine a credible source as opposed to one that isn't, and how to use parenthetical references in the text to cite said sources.  Other than that, they'll be on their own for writing this last paper.  Their paper is due the last Tuesday of April, and their first blog will be due the same night.  Thereafter, they're pretty much done with the majority of the semester's work-load.

And mine will just be starting.  I'll have paper 5 to grade, and blogs, and the house closing the last Wednesday of the month.  Then, we'll need to arrange to get a chain-link fence put in, and new flooring put down, repairs made, and all that sort of fun stuff, then moving.

Some time during that, the kids get out of school (mid May).  Which is good, because they're big enough to help a bit.

And I darn sure am not willing to pack their toys for them.

The timing, though, is going to be difficult: we are closing the week before classes are done for me, and since the new house is on a well, without power, there is no water for cleaning (and there will be cleaning, if only because there are a few places where well-sealed windows and no air circulation induced mold growth).  So utilities need to be turned on in our names.

Guess what?  The inspection company we hired to do the home inspection will do that for us. It's part of their services. 

I'm dreading the move, yes, but I'm excited about the new home: we're going to have another room, and will have six acres of play space for the kids.  A pond, with an area that will be suitable to learn to shoot in (with BB guns and air rifles only, since it is technically within city limits), a barn that they can play in once we get a chance to get a good look at the inside, and a storage building on the property bigger than the one we're renting at a storage facility.

Funny thing: we're going to have to move the chest freezer at the same time we move the cats.  Cricket literally CANNOT FIND the food dish unless it's on top of the freezer.  CAN NOT.  She's actually stepped in it when I set it on the floor, and never realized that the food was RIGHT THERE.  Because it wasn't on top of the freezer, it wasn't the food dish, and she was starving.  With Shadow, it's a power play (I won't eat until you put my food back.  Yes, I know it's there, but no.  It's wrong.), but Cricket is about as bright as the rooster from Moana. 

I love my cats. 

*First lines of The Canterbury Tales.  

Musings

I wish my university would tell me whether someone has been dropped involuntarily for non-payment, or whether they have voluntarily dropped my class from terror/not wanting to work.  It would make filling out my roll book way easier if I didn't have to add names out of alphabetical order because of an accounting mistake.

Ever have a day where your child is standing there, eyes and mouth wide open, because they can't remember what to do next in their morning routine?  The morning routine that they've been following for two and a half years?  There are times I find it harder than normal not to swear at my children...

I know you're not supposed to change the dog food around, but what if your dog hates the food and won't eat?  Do you make them keep eating the food they hate, or do you switch around until you find something they like?

I didn't vote for Trump in either the primary or general election, last year, but if he keeps doing the same job he's been doing for the past six days since inauguration, I may well vote for his reelection.

Finally found some of my draft books, yesterday--the one with the random-ass short stories* I've been working on when I get stuck on something else, and the draft book for The Schrodinger Paradox. Since my classes are working on writing their papers, today, I will be working on getting stuff transcribed from the draft books, and more written. 

One has to wonder how Lzzy Hale of Halestorm can possibly channel rockers who are still alive like she does.  I mean, the dead ones make sense--how does she channel the souls and capabilities of those still living?

One also wonders about the soul-destroying apocalyptic break-up voiced by Starset's new album Vessels.  Is it metaphoric, or literal?  And did it happen between albums, or was it a formative event in the lead singer/songwriter's life?  Either way, it's a gorgeous, powerful album that you cannot judge without listening to the whole thing. 

I currently have five students doing their writing in the classroom, two drafting long-hand, and three on laptops.  All the rest took off to go find a computer elsewhere, or a comfy spot to write. 

Shadow the cat wound up getting her wish, a few nights ago.  We forgot to retrieve her from sleeping on her boy.  She had mild regrets in the morning--a full bladder and an empty belly will do that--but not enough that she hasn't tried to repeat her accomplishment.

A few weeks ago, I made a knitted wool-blend yarn headband for the pixie in Lion Brand's Wool-Ease (worsted weight) Rose Heather.  And my mother in law asked me "Where's mine?"  So, I made one for my mother in law.  Then my mother, sister, and all three aunts asked where theirs were...so my sweaters are going to wait while I make smaller projects. 

I have one sweater almost finished (Wool-Ease Avacado green), but messed up counting rows on the sleeves.  The left one is an inch too short, and the right one is an inch shorter than that.  Thankfully, it's a pretty simple thing to undo the cuffs, and add a bit.  I just need to finish the projects for family, first. 

I still need to remake a couple other sweaters I messed up on, too...

I got the pixie a plastic loom for Christmas (then had to get her a better one, since there was no way to keep the nylon loops from flying off of the one I gave her while she worked).  The imp was so intrigued by it that he went and spent his own money to get one of his own.  They're both doing excellent work on their various projects--and have finished about four or five apiece.  (Or rather, I've finished off the projects for them, since they lack the dexterity to bind their projects off.)

Last week, I tried easing back from taking an equivalent amount of Aleve tablets to equal prescription strength naproxen that I'd run out of.  My body says, "I'm sorry, I can't do that, Dave."  Come to find out, chronic, systemic inflammation is part and parcel of CFS/ME, and I wind up feeling like somebody hit me with a Mack truck.  So, it's back to the full dose.  I hate taking pills...

I need to stop procrastinating by writing the blog post, and start writing fiction. 





*Short stories are being gathered for another collection, tentatively titled Normalcy Bias.  So far, I've got about 25K words, plus a few more stories I need to transcribe (and one I need to finish). 

Looking back...

It has been a long, long year.  It started--and ended--with death, with a fuck-ton of discomfort along the way.

But.

It's over.

Thanks be unto God, it's over.

I've learned that it wasn't just my thyroid gland messing me up (though that was the root of a good part of the problem).  I've learned that there's no real treatment for me, that I'll never "get over" my physiological problems.  However, I know what they are, now, and I have a better idea of how to manage them then my doctor does, mostly because I have a lot more time to research the issue, the underlying causes, and how to deal with them to prevent them from getting worse.  If I can get the right combo of enough rest when I need it, the right diet, meds dosage, and herbals going together, I might be able to get to 80% of normal function, rather than the 40% I've been living with. 

I've found that I didn't have as good of an idea for changing my composition class as I thought I did.  I'm not entirely certain if it's just because it takes more energy, physical and mental, than I have access to, if it's student preparedness (more on that later), or if it just doesn't work, but it didn't.  Not in the spring semester (when I was off my thryoid meds through February), and not in the fall semester (when I was trying to finish recovering from surgery, and trying to get my blood thyroid levels set where they need to be to feel better when that wasn't the problem at all).  I'll be going back to what I had been doing: 3-4 short papers, and 1-2 slightly longer, researched papers.

I've found that I need to talk about writing conventions--capitalization, paragraph indentation, putting their damn names on the papers--that they should have already learned before they never learned punctuation, how to not do either sentence fragments or run-on sentences, picking the right homophone, or even the major parts of speech (no, they typically can't tell a noun from a verb, thanks).

I've found that Hillary Clinton is hated badly enough by enough people that she can't win an election rigged in her favor by both parties.  And that an orange lizard wearing a Tribble as a toupee is more electable than an honest-to-God decent man who comes across on TV like he might be on the very high function end of the Autism spectrum. 

I've learned that my vote doesn't matter, except in local issues...and then, only sometimes. 

2016 was actually worse than 2015.  I'm praying that 2017 doesn't prove more of the same.

How much clearer can I possibly be?

"You have the two hour block set aside for your class's final exam time to email me anything you didn't turn in over the course of the semester."

"Email things to me.  I will not be on campus during finals week."

"The last day I will be on campus is the last day of classes, Friday, May 6." 

"If you haven't turned in anything over the course of the semester, you have one last chance during [this two hour block] on [this day] to email it to me, because I will not be on campus during finals week."

These things have been iterated and reiterated on a daily basis for the past fucking month, both verbal and written.  I still have students trying to find me on campus, to turn in hard copy, and not during the set final exam time.  I have students sending me things three or four hours late. 

I'm heading into Friday's surgery with a fuck-ton not finished up around the house.  The living room is a fucking disaster, as is the kitchen, and the master bedroom/bathroom.  I do not yet know what time I am supposed to show up for surgery, nor can I find out before Thursday when the hospital calls me.  I have the kids to plan for, the landscapers to watch for, and a whole mess of other things relevant to my LIFE going on.  I cannot handle whiny-ass students who don't fucking listen and fucking pay fucking attention on top of all the other shit I've got going on. 

I'm about ready to turn in all grades, my grade books, and everything, and tell the stupid shits that think they're adults to go fuck themselves with a fucking cactus impaled on a reciprocating saw. 

Think I need a new doctor...

I've spoken with my doctor, as of this morning, requesting a refill on my thyroid meds, perhaps at a higher dosage so I can actually function, and so my dosage doesn't need to be adjusted upward so sharply after my thyroid is removed (and, hopefully, so I can heal up a touch faster, since that is also dependent upon metabolism). 

She said my blood tests indicate my TSH is "normal" and she doesn't want to up my dosage until after I stabilize after surgery.

Yeah...no. 

I've seen my numbers.  Sure, they're in the "normal" range.  The TSH is high normal.  When I got her to order the full panel, the TSH was high normal, and the T3/T4 was low normal.  So, I'm on the scale, but my body's not happy with the hormone levels, and is demanding more. 

Fuck that. 

I want a doctor that is willing to put me in the optimal range--right in the middle. 

I want to feel human again, damn it.

Mmm...coffee...

Last weekend, we had a pair of contractors come in, tear down the deck, and build us a set of steps up to the back door.  It revealed a lot of slightly dangerous mess under where the deck was.  I've got some picked up, but there's a lot more to do.  Including adding twelve feet of fencing. 

I managed to get the path to the back door cleared, yesterday.   Made it a lot easier to get the back yard cleanup started.  Made for some happy kids, too, both yesterday afternoon and this morning. 

I got the shopping done, with two kids on Spring Break in tow.  That...wasn't fun, for all that they're much better behaved than the majority of children I see shopping with their parents.  I think this summer, shopping's going to be done early Saturday morning, either with Odysseus, or with Odysseus watching the kids while I go do it.

I have a load of laundry in the dryer, and another in the washer.  Once those are finished, I'm going to pull all of my daughter's clean clothes and rewash those--the rash she's had for a month and a half isn't what I thought it was, it's an allergic reaction to the dryer sheets I've been using for about the same length of time. 

I have the dishwasher unloaded, the dirty dishes loaded, and the dirty dishes loaded with the hand wash only done. 

I think I've earned a coffee break.

And after that, I've got the laundry to finish, and the living room to clean up.   And more to do in the bedrooms. 

Fucking yay.

Whew.

As I last posted, a specialist told me to go back onto my thyroid meds.  Thank God.  I went from foggy, exhausted, and scattered to back closer to what I'm used to. 

And I got my papers, which I'd picked up the week before, finished as of last night.  I'll be handing them back today. 

After that?  I need to start working on the textbook I'll be working out of for the coming years.  Rather than teaching four arguments and then a research paper, I'll be teaching nothing but research papers.  It strikes me as a lot more useful to ALL of my students: most majors work in one of four citation styles, and no one but English works in MLA.  Therefore, I will be teaching each of the four citation styles*...once I learn the last two I'm unfamiliar with. 

I'm also feeling up to transcribing scribbled fiction from draft books into the typed drafts I've been working on.  And feeling up to cleaning.

Speaking of cleaning, I've got some ideas on how to bring more storage into the living room.  Odysseus is on board, so I started clearing clutter last night.  Which stirred up dust.  Which gave me a huge sinus headache, drainage, and sore throat that's lasted through the night and into this morning. 

What I didn't realize was that it had done the same to my pixie.  She woke up this morning with a very sore throat, sick stomach, and just feeling all-around bad.  I gave her a Claritin, and she started perking up a bit.  I'm just hoping it was enough for her to enjoy school, and to behave herself.

I'll be having my non-functioning, actively-harming-me thyroid taken out after semester's over.  As of right now, I'm just trying to get my house as ready for another bout of non-functioning homemaker as I can before that kicks in.  The cleaning and the extra storage will help with that.

*The four major citation styles of which I'm aware are MLA (Modern Language Association--what all English teachers go with by default), APA (American Psychological Association--social sciences, teacher ed, and business), CMS (Chicago Manual Style--used by communications and journalism), and CSE (Council of Science Editors--used by Earth and Bio sciences, and likely as not, all science majors). 

Update on computer issues

Good news: I've ordered a new computer which should arrive sometime on Friday.  It's a newer version of the exact same model as my old one, with the same OS, so it shouldn't take much getting used to.  It's also the same model as Odysseus's, so I ordered one that there will be no danger of confusing with his.

More good news: I managed to keep my laptop up and alive long enough to change the password to my blog, and Odysseus has made me a short-term loan of his laptop, so I can do a little bit here and there.  

Little bit more good news: I can get Office through my job at MSSU, so I should be okay once I get everything set up, and transferred over.

The last of the good news: it was a hundred dollars less than I was assuming it would be, and ordered with Amazon Prime, so there's no sales tax, and shipping is the free two day shipping.  In other words, I didn't need to spend near as much as I was afraid I would.

Bad news: the breaking-down laptop is resisting moving all of my data.  I've gotten some of the most vital moved, but nowhere near all.  Granted, I don't need all of it, and will likely winnow out old shit that isn't needed any longer once I manage to get it moved onto my new laptop.  Unfortunately, I lost something like four or five hundred words of my current project (tentative title: The Schrodinger Paradox) through what the dying laptop is doing. 

Worse news: what the old laptop is doing is randomly turning itself off.  Not shutting down and rebooting, powering off without warning.  The fan isn't broken, so what I think is wrong is a power supply that is in the process of dying.  It might be salvageable, but I am not confident in replacing a power supply, and there's a diagonal crack in the lower right hand corner of the laptop's screen's frame, going from about 1 cm above the bottom right hand corner of the screen to about an inch above the bottom corner of the screen, heading up and to the right. 

What I am planning on salvaging is the 4G memory chip (probably to go into Odysseus's machine) and the battery (if it fits). 

Otherwise, I'm not sure if I'll do anything but have the system wipe itself once I save the data I can, and trash the thing. 

It's a pity.  The laptop has given me four solid years of heavy use without much complaint, until yesterday morning when I had warnings that this issue was starting.

Random ramblings.

I am an idiot.

In the course of trying to keep a UTI under control until I could get to the doctor's office, I wound up giving my self a mild case of water intoxication.  With symptoms of nausea, lethargy, and dizziness, and a weight gain in one day of ten pounds.

A night and a day of mild diuretics fixed it, but it was a little unnerving to realize that the UTI wasn't the only thing wrong, and the other thing was something I'd done to myself.  No more drinking more than a gallon a day, and only that much when I'm busy and sweating (which I don't do much...which really sucks during hot weather).  

The kids are the worst of monsters for night owl parents: they're morning people.  Doesn't matter how late I put them to bed, they're up no later than 6:30 in the summer, and often emerging from the imp's room, where they're supposed to play and be quiet until at least 7:00.  No, it doesn't seem to matter if they can't see the sunrise--I think they feel it like vampires feel the sun setting in fiction. 

Why, no, I didn't get back to sleep this morning.  Why did you think to ask that?  ;)

Yesterday, the kids and I went up to Mom's.  I had Odysseus take us and leave us there, so that he could join us for supper, after he'd had a chance to take the unit test for the online class he's taking. 

It did not work out that way.  The kids had a ball, but the fucking course website was buggy as hell, and he didn't want it to freeze in the middle of taking his test and boot him out.  Here's hoping it works today, during the hour I have the kids playing in the front yard with bubbles and sidewalk chalk. 

But in any case, we did go to Mom's yesterday.  Where I found that yes, Mom actually did order me a pen that had been on my Amazon wish list.  It's a Hero 616, with a gold filled cap and a gold nib.  I'm pretty sure it's a reproduction of a Parker 51.  It's an extremely fine nib, very pretty, has an old fashioned aerometric filling system, and has a clear, plastic ring between the section and the filling system and barrel that shows ink level--something few of my other pens have.  It's a very nice feature. 

I've read in Amazon reviews that some  of these pens have a(n easily fixable) problem with leaking, but mine needed no tinkering before I could fill it.  And it hasn't burped yet, like some of my pens do when they're one of the older ones and get shaken about. 

Once we got home, the cats were incredibly possessive and clingy.  I don't know if it's because they missed us, or smelled my sister's and aunts' cats on us.

There wasn't much writing done, this week, and what was done was done longhand.  I need to get that gathered up (three different notebooks), and get that transcribed.

I am alpha-reading and helping with the first edit on a friend's book.  I can advise this: when it comes out in the Amazon stores, go buy it.  So far, it's really hooked my attention, and I'm only a few pages in.  Which I read while I was feeling my worst, wasn't interested in much, and still got hooked.

I love my family.

My mom and sister, after having heard how I'm doing with wheat cut out of my diet (i.e., far fewer digestive problems, fewer problems losing weight and keeping it off, fewer headaches, and less brain fog), have done the same. 

It's working for them.  At least, it is right now.  I'm sure this won't last long. 

Because they're convinced it's not the wheat that's the problem.  They're convinced it's the eeevil GMOs.

My God, I wish it were possible to slap sense into them.

I have explained and explained and explained to them that humans have been genetically modifying their food sources for millennia.  The original wheat?  Had four grains that dropped off as soon as it was ripe.  Same with the original strain of corn.  And now, look at the grains we have: huge, fat, heavily bearing heads/ears.  Because we genetically modified it. 

Modern GMOs are little different, except in scale and time: instead of taking multiple thousands of generations to fix a trait, it can be inserted into the genetics of a plant, either by irradiating a seed, or by using a virus (sometimes both).  GMOs are not dangerous. 

What is dangerous is the junk science surrounding them.  What is dangerous is the overspraying of chemicals on fields of grains that have been modified to withstand the chemicals (seeps into the water tables and contaminates drinking water, which anyone would agree is incredibly bad).  What is dangerous is the pig-ignorance--the willful ignorance--cultivated by the twatwaffles that want the human race to die off and leave the bountiful earth all to herself.

Seriously.  The anti-GMO crowd is about as well-grounded in real, actual scientific understanding as the anti-vaccine crowd. 

Two grand.

Eight cavities.  Some small, some are old ones that need fillings replaced.  Apparently, mine aren't doing what my younger sister's did, and spreading and threatening to split her teeth.  So, there's that, at least.

It's gonna be 'spensive.  And that's with a cash discount.  I can swing it, but it's gonna mean no new carry piece this year.  Or next. 

The work starts next Wednesday, so at the very least only my gums are sore today (cleaning), and I didn't have to worry about what to eat with my face numb.  I think we're going to get some ice cream, frozen mango chunks and orange juice for smoothies for next week. 

I did get some writing done, though, while I was waiting for the torture cleaning and x-rays session.  Now, I just need to transcribe it, and expand it as I do.

I spoke too soon...

The pens quit working again, except for the one with the green ink that I'd bought for the dragon pen.  Since that one works as well as it does, and the others all had a different brand/type of ink, I got suspicious.

It wasn't the pens.  It was the ink.  I found Dr. Ph Martin's Bombay Ink in 1 oz bottles at our local Hobby Lobby for $5/bottle, so I bought three. 

It clogs.  It dries into clots in the nibs. The nibs have since been thoroughly cleaned in Windex and hot water.  One of the nibs had the entire feeder channel filled with a clot, which came out looking like a blue worm.  Another had so much clotted into it that it took soaking in five different cups of clean water--after the Windex--to get the rinse water to come out clear.

I've since tested them with the Waterman ink...and they work fine.  So I've ordered three more colors: a standard blue, one described by reviewers as turquoise, and a red. 

(And, as a side note, a Chinese medium nib is about the same as an American fine nib.  Which happens to be my personal preference.)

So, the Hobby Lobby ink will be reserved for when I have the time (and lack of chaos elements under my elbows) and inclination to use my dip pen to create calligraphy.  Because the ink colors?  Yeah, they're really, really pretty, and work perfect with that dip pen (which hadn't worked at all for me with a different type of ink). 

The worse I feel, the less I complain.

I have been, and still am, feeling terrible.  Complaining takes energy, and I don't have any to spare. 

Yes, I have gone to the doctor.  It is, at worst, just bronchitis.  The NP thought that it was viral, and gave me a sample inhaler of Albuterol, and a hard copy 'scrip of antibiotics that she doesn't want me to fill unless I'm feeling no better within three days (or if I feel worse, or if I start running a fever). 

I'm feeling slightly worse today than I did yesterday.  Too much energy expended, not enough rest.  And we need to go to Sam's Club today, so...yeah. 

I'll be back when I feel better.  Just wanted to let y'all know that I was (for the most part) okay. 

random ramblings

I had a doctor's appointment earlier in the week.  If the screens both come back looking good, I won't have to go for that purpose again for another five years.  And that...makes me very happy.

The doctor's office's billing assistent got fed up with my health insurance messing her up and deleted it from her system.  I have it, and I have proof of it, but they're not in my network, and I'd rather get the self-pay discount.  I'd also rather keep the doctor's office (and people) that I like and trust--that's very, very important for a childhood abuse survivor.  

So.  We heard from the school, yesterday.  The imp...is in.  I don't have to live with a year of guilt from having to put him in public school to satisfy his need to socialize with others his age.  He needs to work on eye contact (I'm not sure if they meant maintaining it, or watching what he's doing), following instructions (does that well enough at home), and writing and drawing (which we've been working on for a month, now).  We've also enrolled him in two kindergarten prep day camps, one basic, one advanced.

Speaking of the imp, this past week we've had a bit of rain every afternoon.  It has soaked into the ground quite well, turning the layers the imp plays in into a muddy mess.  So, every day (except yesterday), I'd send him outside to play before it rained, and every day, he'd come in caked in mud and dirt.  Day before yesterday was particularly bad--brought to mind this:


The boy really was a ball of mud, and wet wipes (what I had been using on him) weren't going to cut it. So, he got dunked through a bath in the middle of the day before being permitted to come out and sit on the couch. 

The pixie is completely back to her normal little bright, fluttery self after her bout with pneumonia.  She was clingy and needy for a few days after her recovery, but she's back to her normal behavior, now. 

So, last week TinCan Assassin was over here, using Odysseus's laptop to look up troubleshooting problems for his laptop (which has stopped working).  He finally got tired of trying to figure out what the problem was, and decided to reload the operating system...and that didn't work, either.  So, he says, "Umm...whiskey tango foxtrot?"

I was in the kitchen, cutting up green bell peppers for freezing, when I heard him, then heard a piping, tiny girl's voice repeat, "Whiskey tango foxtrot?"

I'm just glad I was able to keep my giggles silent.  TinCan Assassin explained to her that those were grownup words that she shouldn't be saying.  And she's fine with that explanation, and I haven't heard that phrase from her since.

Cricket, the black and white cat, has demonstrated her complete lack of cat-like grace at least twice this week.  On Wednesday, I had a terrible headache that started in my right shoulder, went up the back of my neck, and up that side of the back of my head, so I laid down on the couch, kinda half propped up on the back of it.  There were perhaps ten inches of space between me and the edge of the couch.  

She lost her balance, and started to fall.  So, she reaches out with all ten front talons, and tries to grab me.  She missed, and ripped my keyboard cover.  And hit the ground faster, and with a headache to boot.  If that had gotten me, it would have hurt.

Yesterday, the pixie reached up to scratch her cheek as she was standing on the back of the couch.  Cricket leaned into it really hard...and fell off the back and onto the seat.

And no, this cat does not land on her feet.  Sometimes, she doesn't land on her feet even when she's in control of the fall. 

Shadow has been chasing bugs that get in the house, lately.  I'm going to have to figure something out to keep her from getting inside the lamp shades with the bugs.  Nothing I have tried up to this point has worked.  Maybe mosquito netting bunched around the lamp and tied off?  Nah--then, she'd just be throwing herself against the lamp and knocking it over.

The dog...has halved her food intake.  She doesn't eat one of two meals, and spends almost all of her time outside.  I guess she just doesn't need as many calories when it's warm to hot. 

I sincerely wish she was trainable.  It isn't that she isn't smart.  It's that she is, and stubborn, to boot.  She is rude in the house because it gets her what she wants: booted outside.  Which sucks for her, because she adores the kids (and gets overexcited and bounces all over them.  It wouldn't be quite so bad if she wasn't a 20 lb dog, with one kid weighing in at 31 lbs, and the other either just under or just right at 40 lbs.  And, with her being untrainable, I can't get that stopped, and the kids are as afraid of her as they are head over heels with love for her.

It's going to be a busy summer on the writing front.  And on the office hours in the fall front. 

Pendragon Resurgent has, in its first week, sold nine copies (and one person with Amazon Prime borrowed it--for which I still get paid).  I'm hoping that the people who downloaded The Last Pendragon when it was free reads it, and goes looking for the sequel in a couple of weeks. 

As for what else I've accomplished this week, I've finished the first draft of a short story, titled "Gremlins" that may or may not appear on one of the blogs in the next couple of weeks, and I'm working on a second, titled "Quetzl."  If "Quetzl" is within the maximum word limit, I'll probably enter it into this contest I've been told I should enter.  If it's not, I'll work on it until I'm happy with it, and post it for sale as a Kindle short story for $0.99.  I'm really enjoying it.

After that, I've got Fire and Forge outlined, and "Bar Tabs" is with the person who does my cover art.  I've also started the publication process on Lizzy's Tail, and am just waiting on the cover art for that. 

So, yeah: busy.  Hopefully productive.  Because I'd very much like to finish the first draft of Fire and Forge before classes start on August 12.