I wish to God that several of my students would DTFO.

Nothing has harmed the students and higher education worse than the idea that everybody is suited to college education.

They're not. 

I have had about four students follow the instructions on the "micro essay."  The rest?  I don't know if they missed out on reading the instructions (possible--if they didn't fucking bother to read the announcements), didn't budget enough time to actually complete the assignment, or what, but...well.  The best of those has been an 80/100, and I've been generous.  For now. 

M'kay...those students who can't be arsed to read instructions?  Yeah.  Drop the fuck out. 

Those students who don't even begin the assignment until twelve hours before it's due?  DTFO.

Those students who can't write a fucking complete sentence in standard English?  DTFO, until you get some serious remediation that takes you all the way back to Big Chief tablet time in learning how to write.

And those who email me asking "Why did I score so low on the quiz?"  First of all...DTFO.  It was a fucking paper, not a quiz.  And second?  I posted your paper in your gradebook.  Open the file.  Read the feedback.  The reasons you scored so low are clearly enumerated, and a lot more kindly worded than I felt inclined before I started drinking.

And those students who don't turn anything in, then ask why the link to turn it in disappeared the morning after the due date ("But I thought it was due Sunday night!"--not Friday, like the Schedule of Due Dates clearly states)?  Yeah.  You, too.  No, I won't accept it now, either.  DTFO.  Now.  Before your F shows up on your transcript.  Because I've explained the very same shit to you before.