I'd like some advice from those of my readers that have raised kids, and maybe have a grandkid or two. My imp apparently didn't skip the terrible twos after all--he's hit them, just now, a year late. I've tried all the tricks I know to curb the tantrums: offering a choice between two things I'd like him to do, time outs (which do not work to prevent them. At all. All it does is get him out of our hair while he screams and stomps around--and at least they're shorter in his room with the door closed and no attention), spankings, removal of toys and/or privileges...we've tried it all, and none of it works. It's his way, or a temper tantrum.
A good example happens every morning. I fix his breakfast (sausage links) and leave it where he can reach it, but the pixie can't. He screams and shakes his head that he won't eat, then turns around and asks for milk. I don't grant this, because I've learned that he fills up on the milk, and won't eat. So he doesn't get milk until after he eats. He knows this, but does the same thing every morning: screaming, stomping temper tantrum on sight of sausage; I turn off the television, say "fine, go to your room and close the door until you're done screaming"; he goes, calms down, and comes back out, and asks for milk. I tell him "sausage, first, then milk," so he tries for orange juice. "Sausage first." Screaming temper tantrum, exile to calm down, then back, and asks for milk, orange juice, and then water. I give him a little drink--enough to quench thirst--then wait. He asks for milk again, and I point at the sausage. He throws a screaming tantrum, tells me "NO!" gets a spanking, and gets sent to his room. When he's let out, the cycle continues.
Breakfast sometimes takes half an hour, sometimes takes until lunch. Sometimes he'll settle down in time to watch Sesame Street, sometimes he won't. And it doesn't matter if it's sausage (though that's the most likely to be eaten), Cream o' Wheat, yogurt, or what have you: he insists on his way or throws a tantrum.
I am at the end of my rope, and don't know what I'm doing wrong.
3 hours ago