This guy wants to ban everything remotely dangerous. It's simply not possible--life is dangerous. If he wants everything completely safe in his world, I'd say we ought to oblige him so that he leaves the rest of us alone.
I can think of two ways to do this:
1. Fit him with a feeding tube, an oxygen tube, a catheter, and a colostomy bag, then wrap him in cotton wool from the eyeballs down and strap him to a hospital bed. That way, his world is safe, and nothing can hurt him.
2. Fit him with a coffin, and inject him with a lethal cocktail. Nothing can hurt him if he's dead.
32 minutes ago